Guru Asks

How is one organisation attempting to make Songkran safer this year?

“For my next decree, all residents must travel by horse!”

A) By campaigning to ban the festival altogether.
B) By throwing ice-cold water on anyone caught drink-driving.
C) By forbidding women to wear white shirts.
D) By handing out sterilised clay powder. The Thailand Institute of Nuclear Technology (Tint) will distribute a safer version of chalk for revellers who like to apply the paste on themselves and others during the festival. Tint says that the regular white paste used in Songkran celebrations is made from clay, and they have found bacteria, viruses and yeast in samples they have tested, which could result in conditions such as blisters and blood infections. To combat this, the organisation will hand out sterilised chalk to the public at Sala Daeng BTS station on April 9-10, from 10am.

ASSAULT

Why did a woman in Madison, Wisconsin go crazy during a 30th birthday party she was hosting for her friend?

A) Because it brought back painful memories of her 30th.
B) Because nothing went as planned.
C) Because she forgot to bring the birthday cake.
D) Because she hated the DJ’s song selection. So what did she do? She broke the DJ’s laptop, headphones and microphone, then threw a glass at him, only to top it off with punching him several times in the head, scratching his face, and leaving him bloodied. The DJ called 911, and the woman fled the scene before she could get nabbed on charges of craziness.

FASHION

What new fashion guideline was (allegedly) imposed in North Korea?

A) To copy everything Dennis Rodman wears.
B) Everyone has to don military uniforms while sleeping.
C) Women must tattoo “I Heart the Great Leader” on themselves.
D) All men are required to have the same haircut as Kim Jong-un. According to Radio Free Asia, the state-sanctioned guideline is being applied to male university students. Affectionately called the “Dear Leader Kim Jong-un” haircut, the unique look involves shaved sides with a high-top fade. Despite the fact that some analysts and observers are calling BS on this story, we think the “Dear Leader” look is actually pretty cool. G

About the author

columnist
Writer: Sumati Sivasiamphai
Position: Guru Editor