I never thought I’d say this, but here goes. I felt sorry for Miss Thailand Universe as she stood down this week.
I know; that doesn’t bode well with my image as a hard-hitting, callous columnist who takes a no-holds-barred attitude to life. Or am I just living under self-delusion?
The fact is that 22-year-old was very brave in her decision to stand down following a barrage of criticism that was beyond her fortress of tolerance.
I’m talking about Weluree Ditsayabut, who won Miss Thailand Universe amid allegations she was well-connected, both to influential judges and local bakeries.
The Miss Thailand Universe competition had just been picked up by Channel 3 and Weluree, whose nickname is Fai, had been one of 12 hosts of a Channel 3 programme called Strawberry Cheesecake.
It was a programme meant primarily for teenagers, though the mentally incapacitated of any age also could enjoy it, and it went to air Sunday mornings. There were calls that Fai only won because she came from Channel 3, and the controversy raged for days, only put to rest by the one thing that could stop it, namely a coup d’etat.
I don’t know what is more ludicrous, the allegation she was chosen for nepotism or the fact a TV show would think to have 12 hosts (all gorgeous young women and all utterly unidentifiable from the others).
But that’s not all. There were unflattering shots of Fai in a swimsuit comparing her to Godzilla. Why didn’t the judges choose Ellie, the first runner-up, far more beautiful and graceful than fat Fai!?!
Ellie maintained a grim silence, though at times she did look like a cat who’d just licked a bowl of cream clean.
This week Fai told a press conference she was bowing out. Ellie, the people’s choice, would represent Thailand in the international event. Fai burst into tears, thanked her parents and fans, then waddled out the door.
This column has tackled the topic of Miss Thailand before, suffice to say we live in a country where only a military coup has the ability to overpower a beauty pageant scandal.
The Western world has turned its back on beauty pageants and shows more interest in the fat and ugly, as evidenced by The Biggest Loser out-rating beauty pageants in Europe, America and Australia.
Not Thailand, which has no less than six major beauty pageants per year.
Thais themselves get confused as to who won what, and in a year or so they’ll be scratching their heads as to whether Nong Fai was Miss Thailand, Miss Thailand Universe, Miss Thailand World, Miss Thailand Earth, Miss Teen Thailand, Miss Thailand Chinese … or, in her case, the winner of The Biggest Loser.
(I’m not including Miss Tiffany, the international transvestite competition, whose winner is always the most beautiful of them all. Why Thailand doesn’t economise and just send Miss Tiffany to all six international events is beyond my understanding.)
In the West, when somebody announces they are running for public office, journalists race to sift through that candidate’s background for any scandal involving mistresses, shady land deals, rent boys, pedophilia or bestiality. Find a scandal involving all five and you’ve clinched the Pulitzer.
That doesn’t happen in Thailand. Thais are a little more respectful and dignified when it comes to running for public office. But try running for Miss Thailand …
Not only are you subject to all these history checks, but you must face the scrutiny of 68 million people addicted to Line, Pantip.com and myriad other cogs in the social media machinery.
You may be able to win Miss Thailand, but you will never win.
That’s because the girl who wins Miss Thailand must uphold values that can no longer be found in these modern times. She must be a “good Thai girl”.
I spent last week asking my Thai friends what a “good Thai girl” entails. The answers were abstract and even a little murky, if not bordering on sinister.
She can’t have a boyfriend, because that suggests a male has defiled her body in some way.
She can’t have a political point of view. Nong Fai was crucified for posting anti-red shirt comments, which suggests having the power of critical thought goes against being a “good Thai girl”. She must be, essentially, a gorgeous sponge.
She must be deferential to everybody, including leering whisky-soaked phuyai who quietly slip their hand on her backside as they pose for photographs.
She can’t be too clever. If she aspires to a higher profession, in the ultimate irony that borders on hypocrisy, it may reflect badly on that profession, as I am about to show you further into this column.
I’d like to add a few more qualities to that list.
She must be able to withstand the cruelty, taunts and nastiness of a general public that hides behind the anonymity of the social media in order to vent their own frustrations.
Yes, it comes with the territory. Nobody forced her to enter the competition, but how do you prepare a 22-year-old for that sudden tsunami of hate?
Those of us who have been in the industry for a long time know that there are a lot of people out there who love being vitriolic. The worst thing you can do is pore over the hateful remarks, which is exactly what Nong Fai admitted she did.
Beauty pageants are ALWAYS having hiccups because of this impossible role the girls are supposed to assume.
It was not that long ago that a good Aussie girl won Miss Thailand. A day or so after the event she realised she’d have to give up her life as a free-wheeling model to assume the role of a chaste Thai girl. And what was she to do with her long-term boyfriend? Luckily the girl had taken semi-naked fashion shots the year before and, using this as an excuse, she quit.
My favourite scandal occurred the year I arrived here when, right on stage, one of the runners-up wrenched the crown off the winner’s head because she claimed she only won it through connections.
We even had a medical student win one year and this is the most curious case of all. Doctors expressed concern that her winning the beauty pageant might somehow detract from the prestige of the medical profession.
Meaning what? Ugliness was an important prerequisite for any student wishing to pursue a career as a medical practitioner?
Are you starting to see things more clearly, Nong Fai?
If I could meet Fai I’d tell her to go and sit on a beach with a good book, a close friend and endless double-gin and tonics for a week.
I’d console her with the fact that there is definitely life after scandal. Thailand loves somebody who can rise out of the ashes. All it will take is a starring role in a soapie and Nong Fai will be Thailand’s sweetheart. You watch.
I watched as she gave her press conference this week. She was very dignified in her stepping down, and what she said was heart-wrenching. The way she did it should make Thailand proud to have her as a representative. But she’s not.
And how strikingly beautiful she looked. The girl isn’t fat, dammit! She may have even won Miss Universe!
Anyway Thailand got its wish. First runner-up and crowd favorite Ellie is now going to represent Thailand.
But wait.
Facebook pictures of Ellie have already emerged of her frolicking on the beach with … a boy!
And oh my goodness, they’re even holding hands and … oh my god! There’s a pic of them kissing!
How on Earth can she represent Thailand? Get that second runner-up on the line now!
