True to current trends, much of the information my mind accepts and regurgitates each day comes from social networks.
I still try to read as much on paper as I can — books, magazines and newspapers — but I'm finding the instant gratification offered by my smartphone often means I'm spending too much of my time scrolling up and down its 5.7-inch screen.
I also now know why newspapers keep piling up on my coffee table at home. I keep them when I haven't had a chance to go through each page in detail, planning to go back when I have the time and inclination. I almost always end up throwing them out in the end, yellowed and faded and dusty.
The reason for my procrastination, I am now aware, is the fickle condition of my eyes. Age does that to you, and as much as I tell people I'm still young, my eyes tell me otherwise. I need bright daylight — or its equivalent — to read a newspaper without squinting. Reading glasses are a nuisance and not much help. That's why I inevitably end up reading things on the computer.
I have always been one to start my day with a broadsheet and cup of coffee. Reading a newspaper online just doesn't offer the same satisfaction, I used to believe. Now I'm eating my words. A computer screen is always bright enough, and you can even enlarge the font to a comfortable size 16.
But it also means that the temptation to check movements on social networks is very high. And though I ignore requests to "share this post if you agree" (even if I do agree),
I always find them to be an indication of the social sentiment of the day. Sometimes they disappear as quickly as they are are posted, but sometimes they get picked up and circulated. Pretty soon you have a trend.
Several days ago, a few people shared a post about creating "an intention avalanche". You never know how people actually feel on the inside, the premise goes. People smile, but they may be hurting. People have issues and don't know how to reach out. And the three most difficult things to say are "I love you", "I'm sorry" and "Help me".
I'm sure that's true for a lot of people, particularly in larger societies. You can be surrounded by people, yet feel so alone you might as well be on a deserted island. Some people find it difficult to share their feelings, for fear of burdening others with their problems, wasting their time, being ridiculed or regarded as weak.
It seems men have a bigger problem with this than women. Most men don't want to be seen as a softie, so they grin and bear their stress and problems stoically. Or get drunk. Big boys don't cry, as they say. There's a chance, though, that they will one day break under the pressure.
I consider myself lucky that I have close friends with whom I can share my deepest, darkest moments. The moment the world begins to collapse around me, I call up my friends. They're always there for me, with a shoulder to cry on, clean tissues to wipe away mascara stains and an endless tirade of expletives on my behalf directed at whatever or whoever caused the pain.
At times like these, they know that I'm not looking for advice. I just want sympathy, and I get it in spades. They're not going to tell me I'm a fool for doing whatever I did or feeling the way I do. They're not going to tell me I overreacted or made the wrong decision. If I happen to hate someone that day, they are going to hate that person, too. That's what friends do.
That's all we really want when we're down. We want a hug and hand to hold. Sometimes words aren't even necessary. And good friends know that. Just let me get through my deep, dark moment and I'll see the light, work out the solution. My friends might offer advice if it's sought, but ultimately I'm the one to make that decision. And good friends go with whatever that may be.
So here's to all my beautiful friends! Thanks for always being there!
Usnisa Sukhsvasti is the features editor of the Bangkok Post.