Thailand is known as "The Land Of Smiles" because everyone here is happy and joyful all the time... right? As true as that is, there are certain things you can do here that can turn that smile upside down.
Some things are for good reason -- if you haven't been living under a rock this past couple of weeks then you know what I'm talking about -- while others are completely avoidable as long as you've got some common sense, self-control and a pair of pants to keep your privates, you know, private. If you want to avoid public shaming that authorities seem to always do to offenders (or not, it's really up to you) then read on. Here are a few things that are a no-no.
Protesting the government
The offense
For a government that came to power through a general "election" last March, they sure are salty about people who are telling them to get out. The country has seen numerous protests demanding Uncle Tu to step down and the past few weeks have seen throngs of people collectively declaring just how much they despise the PM. There's nothing like hearing a pop song become an anthem of defiance ("One, two, three, four, five -- I hear too"). The protesters are angry -- that's evident in what they say -- but they are peaceful (at the time of going to print). They even cleaned up after themselves (so good that BMA thanked them for it) and let ambulances through. What's the government's response to this? Well, they dispatched riot guards and sprayed water laced with blue dye on protesters. They couldn't even spray water correctly the first time around and ended up spraying it on the police. They've also arrested protest leaders and have threatened to arrest anyone who joins the demonstrations. They've ordered the closure of transportation services in an attempt -- and an unsuccessful one at that -- to hinder the protests from happening. They've issued a "state of emergency" because there's nothing more dangerous than a bunch of people gathering, replacing lyrics with swears and then leaving when they said they would and cleaning up after themselves. They've also said they'll arrest anyone who takes a selfie at any protest because hey, if they can control everything, they'll control your IG feed, too. Oh, and did I mention that as of the writing of this article, they've also tried to shut down four Thai news agencies?
How to avoid it
Be a good boy and girl and obey blindly. Sing the praises of Uncle Tu, the guy who leaves his cardboard cut out to answer reporter's questions and be grateful for parliamentary members, who have the heart to help out innocent topless girls asking for assistance.
Writing bad reviews
The offense
I'll be fair and say that sometimes, people who post reviews online are just snarky, trying to gain attention and make shallow criticisms. They do it all for the sake of their five-minutes of fame -- perhaps even less -- on the internet. Recently, news about an American expat, who was jailed for two days as a result of leaving bad reviews of a hotel in Koh Chang, has made the rounds. The hotel explained their side and alleged that the man posted false reviews after refusing to pay a corkage fee at their restaurant and arguing with the staff. According to the hotel, the man accused them of "slavery" after he allegedly witnessed an employee treated abusively by their boss.
How to avoid it
Let's be honest: both sides clearly overreacted. First, accusing a business of slavery is harsh, to say the least. Of all the things he could have said like "They mistreat their employees" or "The management sucks", he made a beeline for "slavery". It makes sense that the hotel would sue but they didn't just do that. Instead, they doubled down on the overreacting and went down the "Hold my alcoholic beverage" route. They sued the man for defamation and posting false information on the internet, which resulted in him losing his job, being jailed and having to make one of those infamous apologies Thai authorities love. So don't overreact and blame a business for something like slavery or abuse. If you had a bad experience, write about it but don't overreach. If you do, you might end up getting jailed for spreading false information, which apparently is a thing despite the false info doing the rounds on social media.
Not standing during the King's Anthem
The offense
We're all used to standing up for the King's anthem before a movie in the cinemas. It's still interesting to see tourists (or at least back when tourists were allowed in the country) get surprised when everyone stands up as the familiar music starts playing. There have been some occasions when someone refuses to stand up and instances like this have been on the rise especially with the current political climate. I've seen it happen a couple of times. I've even seen someone actually walk out of the cinema as it started playing. The staff doesn't seem to do anything about it but people in the cinema might. Reports of people who do not stand being attacked by someone older have been circulating. Like a man in Chanthaburi who found himself drenched in soft drink after another man threw it on him for not standing.
How to avoid it
Well, I guess it's pretty obvious how to avoid this though there may be some who will argue that a demonstration of defiance is necessary during these times. Newton's Law does state that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The question is: Is it worth it?
Not keeping it in your pants
The offense
The government has tried its very best to reform Thailand's image of being the "Amsterdam of the East" and for the most part, they've succeeded. That doesn't mean places like Patpong, Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy don't exist anymore, but even then, those places are designated specifically for some hanky-panky. Some people, however, have had the delusional idea that anywhere is fine and that "getting a room" isn't necessary. I don't want to go into the "dirty" details of each story but if you've been living in the country for a couple of years now, you've probably heard of people "doing it" in broad daylight on the beach or a couple enjoying a "giving/receiving" sesh in public -- and I don't mean Christmas gifts.
How to avoid it
Oh, I don't know, maybe self-control? We're not animals. It's possible to wait until you get home. And trust me, it doesn't matter how kinky you are, telling yourself that you like it when people watch. The majority of us want nothing to do with your sexcapades. I don't like the practice of the police forcing offenders to make public apologies but I make an exception here. If you're not going to keep it in your pants in public then you better wai and say sorry in public, too.
Wearing/doing the wrong thing at a temple
The offense
In the good old days when travel abroad was allowed and people from other countries called "tourists" came to Thailand, one of the most popular destinations they would visit are the many temples around the country. The Grand Palace is a must-visit for all Bangkok tourists, for example, and there are many photo-ops to serve as a reminder of your trip to the Land of Smiles. However, there have been instances where tourists have been prohibited from entering them. Temples banning foreigners outright like they did back when quarantine restrictions lifted is a whole other thing, but I'm talking about instances when a tourist was denied entry because they weren't following the rules. For example, a Russian woman in Phuket wore a see-through dress on a visit to the temple so everyone got to see her bikini underneath. In another instance, Chinese tourists were banned from the White Temple in Chiang Rai because of constant misuse of its iconic "Golden Toilet". I won't get into how it was misused, which is for the best. In 2017, a gay couple with an Instagram called "Traveling Butts" took a photo at Wat Arun. I think you can figure out what the photo was and why they were fined.
How to avoid it
For foreigners like me and tourists who visit the Land of Smiles, the numerous temples all over the country are tourist destinations. They're great IG spots and a chance to be able to learn more about the Thai culture. However, for the locals it's a sacred place and it was originally constructed to be a place of worship and not a place for great photo-ops. So if you're going to visit a temple, do a Google search to learn about appropriate attire and proper etiquettes. Messing about with Golden Toilets is definitely a no-no.
