Oranong Chanasit, an activist, took a bakery course to learn how to knead dough in the hope of teaching hilltribe children, but encountered a life-changing experience.
"Bread has its own life," Varisara Leeteerakul, an instructor, told her in a workshop.
She thought that her mentor must have referred to yeast, a type of fungus, that makes bread swell. The more she practised, the more she realised that making bread is good for the soul. Following a long career in human rights, she has designed a bread therapy workshop for LGBTI Muslims in Pattani.
"I understand their religion and don't blame it, but some followers are not accepted for their sexual orientation. How would they feel?," she said in an interview.
Oranong Chanasit, founder of Healing Loaf, organises a bread therapy workshop. (Photo: Oranong Chanasit)
Founder of Healing Loaf, Oranong attended the 2nd Thailand Transgender Wellbeing Conference in Bangkok from March 31-April 1. She joined other human rights campaigners in sharing how toms, trans men and nonbinary individuals are facing challenges in their own regions.
As of March 22, 2,453 trans men are registered with the FTM Thailand. Because it is typical for them not to come out, only 77 individuals (3.14%) took this demographic survey, which shows that they are in the working-age group and competent to make decisions about transitioning. Over half of them are concentrated in the central region (51.9%), followed by the eastern region (18.2%), the northeastern region (14.3%), the northern region (7.3%), the southern region (5.2%) and the western region (2.6%).
Oranong recalled being left to take care of herself in Pattani at the age of eight while parents were tapping rubber in the Bannang Sata district of Yala. They returned home once a month to stock up food. Despite her Thai Buddhist background, she grew up in a multicultural environment, playing and studying with Muslim friends.
Oranong Chanasit, founder of Healing Loaf, organises a bread therapy workshop. (Photo: Oranong Chanasit)
"Even though grandma lived nearby, I was left to myself at home. I hung out with friends and did a lot of outdoor activities, like trekking and fishing. I became more independent than other children who stay with parents," she said.
Oranong enjoyed playing sport and wearing sweatpants to school. It was not until her last year of high school that she identified as a tom. From her experience, people did not define their identity or relationship even though they were together because knowledge of gender and sexuality was not yet available to them.
"It is not until recently that they came out," she said.
As a student athlete, Oranong left Pattani for Bangkok to study health education at Srinakharinwirot University. She became a first aid teacher, but quit over dress code. Then, she got a job at the Thai Volunteer Service, a non-profit organisation that empowers youth to advocate social justice at the grassroots.
"Here, I learned about human rights. The job involved a lot of fieldwork. It allowed me to think for myself and empower other people," she said.
(Photo: Thana Boonlert)
This two-year stint opened doors for her career in human rights. She went on to work at Mahidol University's Institute for Population and Social Research and the Raks Thai Foundation. A turning point came at the age of 45 when she quit her full-time job. She recalled her previous training and thought it could be the next move.
"Each step of making bread helps you find happiness. For example, measuring ingredients allows you to live in the moment. You mix them until the dough is ready, so no matter how a complete mess life is, you can rebuild it. Resting for an appropriate amount of time is key to baking a good-shaped bread. Sometimes, you are too impatient and goal-oriented," she explained.
Oranong applied her experience to designing a bread therapy workshop. At Healing Loaf, she asks students to pay attention to their feeling, body and mind.
"While making bread, I encourage you to observe fleeting impressions. Are you feeling bored, tired or excited? Feeling is fact. Just accept it. Observe your body and mind as well. Is it getting restless? Come back to kneading dough," she said.
"Don't worry about the future. Focus on what brings you joy, like shaping and touching dough. You see, you are already happy even if you have not yet eaten bread. Don't forget to enjoy the moment."
(Photo: Kontaros Teangtrong)
Oranong uses her workshop to provide mental support to LGBTI Muslims in her hometown who find themselves at odds with their religious belief. She explained that some toms flout dress and hairstyle codes and ride motorbikes in the city. Others take off hijabs only when they hang out with friends. They keep private relationships to themselves.
"I rarely see trans men in the South because hormone therapy and surgery are forbidden. I notice that some toms want to transition, but suppress it at their own mental cost," she said.
Oranong said she does not disrespect religious faith, but gives mental strength to gender-nonconforming followers. Given that Islam is an unchangeable part of their community, she encouraged participants in the workshop to focus on their own happiness rather than external circumstances.
"For example, some neighbours disapprove of families with tom youth. I teach them that we can't change their mind. Accept the way it is, move on, and focus on yourselves," she said.
She said soul-searching dialogue in the workshop helps participants understand their situation, weigh pros and cons for each choice and come up with back-up plans. Many life-changing decisions emerge out of bread therapy. Surprisingly, they come up with an explanation to justify their nonconforming identity and relationship.
"Youths say God is testing them. After failing to change their tom children, parents interpret it as God's challenge and let fate take its own course. Wait and see where it will end. When things are out of control, they resort to this kind of explanation," she said.
Oranong said the workshop helps LGBTI Muslims navigate constraints in their personal life. Unlike how the media portrays it, they actually have freedom to some extent.
"Unlike other activists, I am not sure what the point of fighting [for rights] is if they do that and end up not fitting in. I believe that they should live in their own way and find joy in every stage of life," she said.
Oranong agreed that her approach is a compromise. "Contrary to popular belief, several Muslims are negotiating their nonconforming identities."
