Former death row convict Phat-it Jinwuth didn't find life after death. Still living and praying, the 41-year-old has found that dhamma has given his life a purpose.
From a privileged background, he was just 25 when he was sentenced to death for allegedly hiring someone to murder a senior staff member at the hotel his family managed. It took him four years to prove his innocence.
Once a hot-headed character, the teachings of Buddha helped him shed his former life of self indulgence. His faith in karma has also led him to become a man that practices what he preaches.
Being on death row taught him valuable lessons. One being that life is uncertain, so we should live it with caution. Secondly, tolerance is a virtue, for it offers you the emotional strength to weather the most severe trials.
Lastly, prison might detain your physical self but not your soul.
Phat-it comes across as not having been emotionally affected by this tumultuous time. He spent four agonising years among hardened criminals before the Supreme Court ruled there was insufficient evidence against him and eventually released him.
"I did see a prison psychiatrist for a migraine which he attributed to depression, but I did not take the medication for long because it made me sleep a lot," remarked the family man, who today helps manage a dental clinic with his dentist wife.
Apart from that, there is little to indicate he had been on death row. He explains why, saying: "I have never been one to emotionally break down when life deals me a cruel hand. While I never allow myself to get overwhelmed by trials in life, the only time I let my guard down is when my family experience heartache. This was probably the only aspect of my life in jail that bothered me, the rest I could manage."
Being accused of a heinous crime as an enterprising young man with a foreign education, privileged background and promising career in the hotel industry was bemusing to him, taking a while for him to realise the ramifications.
In retrospect, the harsh reality was to not just see his family experience enormous heartache, but also have society brand them parents of a killer. Not being able to get compensation for the revenue his family lost while he was incarcerated also added to the hurt.
Despite putting on a brave front, there was always a nudging voice within him that needed answers to life's bitter trials.
It was only after Phat-it was released from jail that he was introduced to dhamma meditation by his elder brother. He recalls how at the time he was an agnostic, who often questioned social and religious beliefs and practices.
An invite to a weeklong dhamma retreat by popular Buddhist mediation expert Phra Ajarn Nuanchan Kitthipanyo set in motion a change that was spiritually awakening and which eventually played a huge part in his decision to start Baan Dhammatan Meditation Centre in his hometown of Phitsanulok 10 years ago.
"The retreat was a remarkable encounter for me because it was here I learned the path to ending suffering the Buddhist way. I would be in deep meditation and find the truth being revealed to me. For one, that life is impermanent. I also gained wisdom on how to lead a life of detachment. This experience helped me to look at the world with a different set of eyes. What was most obvious was a sense of freedom from being a slave to material goods."
In the first place, he said what attracted him to take meditation classes with the renowned Buddhist monk was the core teaching, "actions speak louder than words", saying: "I have a rather aggressive personality and can be very vindictive, so Phra Ajarn Nuanchan took me under his wing, knowing well that if not given proper guidance I could become a menace to society.
"Through meditation, I came to face my inner demons. While I have been free of the vices that once had a strong hold over me, I am a work in process. I continue to stand by my principals: whatever I do, I do it to the best of my abilities."
A new man, Phat-it, who was released at the age of 30, has opted not to harbour resentment towards anyone who wronged him in the past, saying what transpired in his life was due to karma.
Sharing his take on dealing with adversities in life, Phat-it said: "My time behind bars taught me the importance of addressing issues with a clear mind and not emotions. It is also important not to cry over spilt milk. It does not make one's situation any better. To be happy, it is pivotal to look at the bright side of life.
"People experience different trials in life. When I was going through mine, I opted to not spend it lamenting, despite the odds set against me. I chose to instead take the opportunity to ponder about my life while waiting to fight my case in court.
"Of course, I went through moments of depression, but I always bounced back by telling myself that I had my family's support. That made me feel positive about the future.
"To keep occupied I took up weight training, shedding 20kg in the bargain. This made me feel good about myself."
On concerns he shares about the direction society is taking today, Phat-it said: "Materialism is a huge problem in our society. People are placing way too much value on material goods. Moreover, they have become a prisoner to the lifestyle they lead.
"They are caught up with responsibilities, both at work and at home, which tie them down. Most of their free time is spent indulging in activities that do not necessarily bring them inner peace and happiness. They have little time for themselves.
"In my opinion, prisoners are more fortunate than people outside. For one, they have the time to right a wrong and find inner peace through meditation because they have time to introspect about the life they have led."
