I've thought long and hard about writing this article because it's such a momentous one. It's my last Editor's Note for Guru.
After 55 issues, published in 13 months or nearly 400 days, the time has come for me to say good bye to this beloved magazine. I have a mixed bag of feelings -- saddened that I will no longer be working with this amazing team, excited about a new chapter in life, worried about what lies ahead and mostly relieved I haven't been called in for attitude adjustment after the many high-risk stories we published over the past year.
I thought about writing a long, melancholic good bye, saying how much I'm going to miss this job (I will, definitely), but why waste such a good space when I could write about something more meaningful?
I am going to end my role with 13 things I want you to stop doing. I know I'm just a stranger with no power over how you behave, but if even one of you changes at least one thing, I would consider it a success.
1. Do not comment (negatively) on people's appearance, whether or not you are close to that person. There is no reason why you should ever utter the words "You've gotten fat!"
2. Diet coffee doesn't make you thinner. Diet pills can kill you. Just don't fall victim to those irresponsible products.
3. Girls, when you learn that a hot guy is gay, do not say "Oh, sia dai jung!" People's sexual preferences are none of your business. Even if he was straight, do you really think you'd stand a chance?
4. Guys, when you learn that someone is gay, there's no need to avoid him. Gay people are selective, too. They don't just randomly attack men for sex.
5. Don't drive to Siam Paragon on a Saturday afternoon if you want to keep your sanity intact.
6. Telesalespeople, don't call me. In fact, don't call anyone. Basically, just find a new job that doesn't involve cold calling strangers during office hours. No one's got the time.
7. Don't let anyone borrow your money. You either give it without expecting to see that money again, or just refuse flat out.
8. Don't fret too much over your wedding. No one really cares about anything apart from how much food there is and how good their selfies look.
9. Voucher is pronounced "vow-cher", or /'vaʊtʃə/ if you could read phonemic script, not "woi-cher".
10. Facebook Likes are complete BS. Don't try so hard to get them.
11. Bangkok will always flood when it rains. Don't complain. Deal with it.
12. Don't judge people. You don't have to have a comment on everything and everyone.
13. Guru has the best writers. Don't ever stop reading it. Subscribe to the Bangkok Post if you haven't already.
And with that, I leave this magazine to the fifth editor. Who will it be? Find out in the next issue.
(*Go sob uncontrollably in the corner.)