Earlier this week a veteran taxi driver told me he was a great fan of Elvis Presley. He proceeded to sing Love Me Tender for most of the journey. He wasn't too bad either -- Elvis would have been proud. The crooner cabbie said singing took his mind off the horrors of Bangkok's traffic.
He reminded me of another singing taxi driver a few years ago who said he was a former folk singer, before suddenly bursting forth into song with Danny Boy. Mind you, he had his own lyrics -- "Oh Danny boy, the pies, the pies are calling…"
For years I have enjoyed, or perhaps "endured" is more accurate, the musical radio tastes of Bangkok's taxi drivers, many of whom come from the Northeast. In the old days their preference was for traditional country music, luk thung, which was quite enjoyable and importantly kept the cabbie in a decent mood.
Some cabbies actually go out of their way to put on western music when they have farang passengers, although this is not necessarily a good thing. A few years ago a young taxi driver put on, in my honour, a compilation of heavy metal music which I find as enjoyable as having a tooth extracted. However, he was a friendly fellow and I didn't have the heart to ask him to change it. So I sat there in the gridlock with my eardrums being blasted by the angry sounds of Metallica, Megadeath, Motorhead and Iron Maiden. At least it wasn't rap.
Local hero
One of the more enjoyable musical experiences in a taxi came at the height of the "troubles'' on Bangkok streets in 2010. Most taxi drivers supported one side which had its own radio station which would daily carry fiery speeches from that group's leaders. I had no problem with the drivers listening to what they wanted, but the daily dose of screaming rhetoric, while trapped in a taxi, was not great for the blood pressure.
On one journey at the height of the unrest, a taxi driver put on a cassette tape and I braced myself for another lecture on democracy. Instead I was treated to a Dire Straits concert and in particular an extended version of Mark Knopfler's haunting guitar work on the theme from Local Hero. I complemented the young driver on his choice and he explained that the soothing sounds of the guitar helped him to relax. He said he was an amateur musician and wished he could play the guitar like Knopfler and sing like Rod Stewart. We spent the rest of the journey talking about music. That taxi driver was a true local hero.
Trains and boats and planes
Now for a bit of fun. A lot of popular songs have destinations in the title, but how do you get to the place in question? For example, if you want to get to Georgia, a "midnight train" would seem the best option, while if you're heading for London, it could well be aboard the "last train" but make sure it's the 9.29 which is "just leaving town".
Trains have long been the favourite mode of transport for songwriters and everyone knows that if you want to go to Chattanooga the only way is to take the "choo-choo". Getting to Kansas City offers a few more options -- you "might take a train", or "might take a plane" or "even walk" because you'll get there just the same.
For those of a nautical persuasion, a leisurely trip to China would clearly involve a "slow boat". The more adventurous might want to get to the Sea of Green which would necessitate a trip on a yellow submarine. To locate the magical land of Honahlee a journey aboard "a boat with billowed sail'' could be fun and it might even involve an encounter with a magic dragon.
In the old days, if you wanted to go to the USSR it would require flying "BOAC" from Miami, although you might need a paper bag upon your knee because it could be a dreadful flight.
On the road again
Everyone knows that if you're heading for Scotland you have a choice of taking the "high road" or "low road" and you might even make it to Loch Lomond.
To get to Hotel California, however, requires a formidable journey along "a dark, desert highway" and even when you get there it "could be heaven or could be hell". One piece of advice, if you want to get to heaven it's probably best to take the "stairway", as according to AC/DC if you choose the highway you will end up in the hot place.
A trip to San Francisco might feature taking "little cable cars " which climb halfway to the stars. But if you want to go further into space, according to David Bowie, you could end up "sitting in a tin can". You might even spot Major Tom floating around.
Buffalo blues
We must not forget Thailand and on the many songs about getting to Nakhon Nowhere, the final mode of transport is invariably a water buffalo. The dear old buffalo used to be regularly featured in Thai songs, fortunately not in a singing capacity.
PS: If your taxi driver starts singing Nessun Dorma, it might be a good idea to get out.
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