Just as most Brits must be sick to death of ever hearing the word Brexit, across the Pond one suspects the majority of Americans have also had more than their fill of The Wall. You can't escape those dreaded words even here in Thailand. Switch on the satellite news and you will be bombarded by the two topics, analysed by every expert in the world, most of whom happen to have just written a book on the subject.
The other evening, in desperation I even turned to the Thai TV news … and that definitely is a sign of desperation at its most desperate.
However, The Wall does at least offer a certain pantomime-like quality, with Mr Trump perfect for the leading role of the Grand Dame, although he probably would not be too keen dressing up in drag as required of leading men in pantos. And I reckon the vice-president would be great as the hind legs of the pantomime horse.
We all know the president enjoys audience participation that characterise pantos. So, can he build his "big, beautiful, wall" as he loves to call it? "Oh yes I can," roars Grande Dame Trump. "Oh no you can't," comes the response.
US politics could become fun after all, although unpaid government workers might not concur.
Over the garden wall
The first wall I ever recall as a kid was in our back garden, a setting for many "over the garden wall" discussions between my mum and the lady next door. These meaningful conversations -- gossip about the neighbours -- became a key source of news of what was going on down our street in the 1950s. It was a scene played out in back gardens throughout the United Kingdom and an essential ingredient of British culture. Alas times have changed. A recent survey revealed neigbours were "too busy" to waste time gossiping. What is the world coming to?
One TV and radio comedian, Norman Evans, had a regular sketch in the 1950s, featuring himself in drag as toothless Fanny Fairbottom, leaning on the garden wall while gossiping with the next-door neighbour. Topics of discussion featured middle-aged ailments (some unmentionable in polite society), and naughty goings on concerning the coalman or milkman and the lady at No 7.
The wall in our garden was also very useful when as a kid I played football against myself on the small garden lawn. I would pass the ball to the wall which would send it back perfectly into my path for me to crack home a brilliant winner past the apple tree masquerading as a goalpost. Unfortunately there was usually some collateral damage, as wayward shots decapitated the daffodils and tulips, which did not go down too well with Crutch Sr.
Lip slip
Throughout history, walls have tended to carry a negative connotation. During World War II, walls were featured in British posters warning against idle gossip. The most famous slogan was "Walls Have Ears" featuring two ladies in a restaurant nattering next to a wall with portraits of Adolf Hitler listening in on them. In case you didn't get the message, a cautionary "Careless Talk Costs Lives" was added. It was apparently based on an 18th century proverb, "Walls have tongues, and hedges ears."
Other useful wartime offerings of this ilk included "The Slip Of A Lip May Sink A Ship" and the poetic, "Tittle Tattle Lost The Battle."
Another brick
Walls can be useful in unorthodox ways. In the 1989 film, Shirley Valentine, Pauline Collins plays a frustrated Liverpudlian housewife who talks to the kitchen wall about her boring life, while preparing her husband's egg and chips. It gave an added dimension to the expression "if walls could talk".
Walls also feature in the musical world, none more so than Pink Floyd's Another Brick In The Wall, in this case the wall being metaphorical, inspired by Roger Waters' schooldays. It also featured a children's choir from a London school. Although the song was a massive hit, the satirical lyrics created considerable controversy.
It was particularly unpopular among older teachers in some of the rougher schools where pupils took a delight at menacingly chanting in class such lyrics as "we don't need no education" and "teachers, leave them kids alone". London authorities called the lyrics "scandalous'' while prime minister at the time Margaret Thatcher was reportedly more concerned by the poor grammar.
Words of wisdom
Everyone knows the real reason for walls is to allow mischievous people to write graffiti on them. Although these days disenchanted citizens sound off primarily on social media, walls still provide an outlet for traditionalists and their pithy comments.
Without walls we would not have had the pleasure of reading such meaningful observations as "Nostalgia is not what it used to be" or "I used to be indecisive, but now I am not so sure." There admittedly tends to be an underlying sense of desperation in graffiti. One such item was "Don't believe in miracles -- rely on them," a sentiment that's not entirely out of place in Thailand.
We must not forget the owners of a large white wall in rural England who had written a notice adjacent to it saying "Thank you for not writing on our wall." Next to which someone had sprayed in giant letters all over the wall, "You're welcome!"
Well, at least they were polite.
Contact Postscript via email at oldcrutch@gmail.com