After the failure of a brief moment of <i>Scum of the Earth</i> intimidation, the generals have gone running to court with their twin packs of green-shirt and government lawyers.
The old defamation game is back in style in one of the few places left on Earth -- probably the only civilised country -- where libel and slander are punished by imprisonment.
And that's not even the worst of it, which is that this serious game of "my feelings got hurt" is being driven by people claiming to be real men -- green shirts up to and including the chief of the olive-green brotherhood in the prime minister's chair.
Okay, granted that one of the causes of this soldiers' sensitivity was Pol Gen Sereepisuth "Clint Eastwood" Temeeyaves snarling at army whippersnapper Lt Col Pakit Phonfak, "Get off my lawn".
But come on! The retired policeman's curtness so traumatised a Royal Thai Army half-colonel that he had to run to the police station to report being triggered and seeking a safe space? And put the former police chief-hero in prison? These are the officers defending the nation against foreign aggressors.
The commander of the Royal Thai Army and the secretary-general of the National Council for Peace and Order (junta), who are the same person, detailed the orders to his intelligence corps: Follow, observe and protect politicians -- and report all their activities.
That applies to all politicians whose policies do not precisely align with the regime. Pheu Thai candidate Khunying Sudarat Keyuraphan also outed and scolded the soldier stalking her.
As straight as the commander of the Royal Thai Army when he said he was insulted by a retired four-star police general -- Pol Gen Sereepisuth again -- who made fun of his chestware. Gen Apirat Kongsompong is authorised to wear that fruit salad like General Badass, but Pol Gen (and Seri Ruam Thai Party leader) Sereepisuth finds it ... well, ostentatious.
The backstory is that people's policeman Sereepisuth, for very special occasions, wore two especially prized ribbons of medals awarded by the high institution. All the rest of his authorised chest candy didn't see the light of day.
And the other backstory, as any military veteran knows, is that every soldier is baited, bugged and badgered by peers every time they put on a dress uniform tricked out with party jewellery. We accept Gen Apirat's word he was hurt, shocked and anguished by Pol Gen Sereepisuth's scolding. Also, we will keep our large sack of salt close by.
The only person, the only man who might have come out of this outrageously fake outrage over harsh words could have been Lt Col Pakit. He was doubly unfortunate to draw the duty of stalking Pol Gen Sereepisuth on the campaign trail and then to draw the ex-chief's unparliamentary attack.
"Go away ... Soldiers must protect the country, not follow other people around."
TOUGHING IT OUT: Army chief claims outrage after former police general, now running for election, criticises his chestware. (Bangkok Post file photo)
Forget about whether it was overly rude. Forget the winceable "I am just following orders" reply from Lt Col Pakit via the Nuremberg Tribunal. The point is Lt Col Pakit took it like a man and a soldier. "I'm not leaping into civilian affairs, sir. I'm just doing my duty." No badass, no smart ass.
Until he got back to headquarters and talked to the Joint General Advocate (JAG) officer and found out that he was traumatised, shaken, close to incapacitated by the defamatory and criminal disrespect of being dressed down by a mere former four-star general. It has never happened before in military history.
We're so old we can remember when military men and women could take a joke, withstand criticism and still stand tall and strac. Now it's off to Criminal Court to justify sensitivity.
Your call. Bangkok Post photos show the chief of police in full uniform, on his way to meet the head of the military regime, with two ribbons and two sets of wings on his chest. And they show the commander of the army inspecting troops with two chests full. Are they equally professional? Or does one appear more serious about his position to the point of legal intervention and a prison sentence?