Season of silly hats and hangovers

Season of silly hats and hangovers

The festive season -- otherwise known in Thailand as "Jinger Ben" time -- is well upon us, not that there is too much to get festive about.

It can be quite a gruelling fortnight as you sneakily attempt to escape wearing silly paper hats, pretending to enjoy over-familiar Christmas songs and behaving in a jovial fashion when there is frankly very little to be jovial about.

And then there is the office party in which you pray you don't make an absolute fool of yourself, always a potential danger when the amber liquid is flowing.

However, considering the generally depressing news of recent times, the festive season this year is actually something of a welcome break. We might as well make the most of it as one suspects it is not likely to be a real bundle of laughs.

The salesgirls in the malls are performing their customary heroics, donning Santa hats and reindeer antlers, while even the lady teller at my bank was sporting some cute rabbit ears. The salesgirls also suffer the most when it comes to Christmas music. Day after day they have to put up with the same old songs on loops, including a painful out-of-tune children's choir taking revenge on every carol you've ever heard.

Okay, I'm sounding horribly like Ebenezer Scrooge. I wonder how "Bah! Humbug!" translates into Thai?

Walking backwards

As a kid I remember the local vicar asking me what was my favourite Christmas song. When I replied I'm Walking Backwards For Christmas by the Goons, he looked a bit taken aback. It wasn't quite what he had in mind -- not exactly Hark the Herald Angels Sing.

Walking Backwards has an intriguing history. There was a musician's strike at the time of the Goons live radio show back in 1956. Each episode usually had several musical breaks, but because of the strike Spike Milligan somehow had to fill up the three minutes normally occupied by the studio orchestra.

He came up with an impromptu rendition of a song he had just written, Walking Backwards, accompanied by Peter Sellers playing a mean piano.

It was hilarious mayhem and the studio audience loved it. So they made a proper recording and to everyone's amazement it hit No.4 on the British charts in June 1956, the first Christmas song to be a hit in the middle of summer. Christmas has never been the same since.

Woy Woy

Some years ago the citizens of the Australian town of Woy Woy, where Milligan's family lived, planned a major walk backwards in honour of the legendary Goon. Alas it was banned for safety reasons -- walking backwards can be quite hazardous -- and the celebrants instead had to settle for walking forwards with their clothes on back to front.

Frosty Motown

Another festive season song with a bit of history is Frosty the Snowman. Composer Walter Rollins admitted that when he wrote it in 1950, the song was originally about an ice creature coming alive as a result of nuclear fallout. However, he decided it would never be a hit in that form. To make it appeal to children he opted for the snowman who came to life thanks to a magic hat rather than an atomic bomb. A good decision Walter.

Frosty appears on the only festive season album to which I am partial, A Christmas Gift For You produced by Phil Spector in 1963 with groups like The Chiffons and The Ronettes. Mind you, anything they sing sounds good. The Ronettes give Frosty the full Motown treatment, and a wonderful version of Sleigh Ride even features a singing horse and the classic "ring-a-ling-a- ling, ding-dong-ding'' Motown backing. The Crystals performing Santa Claus is Coming to Town is also a real blast, capable of curing any festive season hangover.

Chimney magic

When I was a nipper back in the Stone Age, kids sent present requests to Santa by "posting" a letter up the chimney. One year I put in a request for a train set and duly posted it up the chimney. I even stuck a postage stamp on it to ensure it would reach the North Pole.

When a train set magically appeared under my bed on Christmas morning I was convinced Santa was real. Of course, my dad had discovered the charred remains of my letter when he was cleaning out the grate.

Taking care of Santa

Back in those days when people actually wrote letters, the US postal authorities published excerpts from some of the missives to Santa addressed to the North Pole. Here are few reminders of those innocent days when kids showed admirable concern for Santa's well-being:

"Don't fall off the roof and please be careful when you're going down the chimney" -- Hayden

"Please use the front door as we don't have a chimney" -- Thomas

"I will leave you macaroni and cheese again. You ate it all last year. We will leave some carrots out for the reindeer" -- Rita

"'Thanks for the remote control car last year even though it broke down the next day" -- Alex

"Hi, my hamster called Pumpkin has a Christmas list. He wants a little harness and a grape" -- Gillian

Wishing all readers a very Happy Christmas, and don't forget the carrots.


Contact PostScript via email at oldcrutch@hotmail.com

Roger Crutchley

Bangkok Post columnist

A long time popular Bangkok Post columnist. In 1994 he won the Ayumongkol Literary Award. For many years he was Sports Editor at the Bangkok Post.

Email : oldcrutch@gmail.com

Do you like the content of this article?
COMMENT (9)