We have just scraped through the Year of the Porkers and are hurtling into the Year of the Rat, which admittedly doesn't sound too promising.
It probably won't be the greatest year, but we'll leave the doom and gloom to the experts.
It is customary at this time to predict what's in store during the next 12 months.
There will of course be the familiar tales of disappearing funds, assorted crackdowns, contradictions and cockups, accompanied by explanations featuring half-truths, prevarications, selective memories and even downright fibs.
No doubt we will be also treated to stories with generous helpings of absurdity and a total absence of logic.
But that's nothing new and even adds to the entertainment.
So, with just a hint of unfounded optimism, here are PostScript's predictions for 2020, culled from the usual motley collection of unreliable sources, gossip-mongers, babblers, boasters, bluffers, prattlers and tittle-tattlers.
To maintain the happiness theme so cherished by our leaders, whenever possible we will concentrate on the bright side of life.
One thing for sure, whatever happens in the coming 12 months, Thailand will continue to remain Simply Amazing.
January: To celebrate Year of the Rat the authorities launch a nationwide Rodent Gourmet Festival featuring rats of all shapes and sizes ready for the cooking pot. Apart from the most popular roasted variety, citizens will be able to enjoy rats baked, poached, fried, grilled or even sauteed. Mouse tails are optional. But don't expect to see "Today's Rodent Special" on the menu at the Oriental. It is also recommended that you ensure your rat is "well done'', otherwise you could possibly suffer a bad case of Rats Revenge, or to use the official medical term, the "Galloping Trots".
February: Surprising scenes in Hollywood as the little-fancied Thai remake of Journey To The Centre of the Earth sweeps the Oscars. It is a disturbing tale of an innocent tourist who nips out on Sukhumvit for a quiet stroll and disappears after plunging down a ruddy great hole. In an entertaining cameo, Sgt Nop plays the "concerned policeman" who in an inspirational moment, sticks a potted plant in front of the offending hole to warn other pedestrians. Not for those of a nervous disposition.
March: Plans are announced for 10 more exclusive shopping malls on Sukhumvit Road including 489 new Starbucks outlets and countless exclusive boutiques which nobody can afford. "We thought it was time to try something completely different," said one developer.
April: An opposition politician is accused of being "unusually unwealthy". Police became suspicious after he was spotted travelling on the Skytrain and a public bus and insisting on paying his fare. He was also spotted riding a bicycle and "even walking". He is currently undergoing psychiatric treatment for abnormal behaviour.
May: Doctors warn that the ubiquitous sound effect "boing!" used by all Thai TV soap operas to alert viewers that something actually funny has just happened, can seriously damage one's mental health. Other irritating noises associated with soaps -- whistles, klaxons and assorted rude squishing noises -- can also contribute to chronic dementia.
June: Tourist authorities propose a Miss Grasshopper beauty contest to promote the increasingly popular Northeastern dish, the "Isan mixed grill". The winner will get a free year's supply of the grill which includes a mouth-watering combination of boiled moths, fried grasshoppers and roasted beetles, with a desert of deep-fried ants eggs.
July: International organisations acclaim Thailand's policy of transferring people to inactive posts as a "breakthrough" and a role model for solving economic problems. "Employing people to do nothing is a masterstroke," said one European official. Thailand immediately announces plans to export inactive posts. A spokesperson for the Ministry of Inactive Posts was unavailable for comment as he was fast asleep.
August: Edith Clampton (Mrs), announces she is suing the BMA for not providing hot water bottles during an unseasonal cold spell. She complains that she had to wear socks in bed while her maid "Khun Hazel", suffered "near frostbite" when temperatures briefly dipped to 20ºC.
September: In an unprecedented move, motorists agree to stop at pedestrian crossings "every now and again". This follows a report that the common pedestrian (pedestrus expirus) could soon become extinct. "I've always wondered what those white stripes were doing on the road," admitted one motorist.
October: Authorities announce the issuance of "L-plates" for distracted walkers who persist on colliding with people while they have their noses buried into their smartphones. Special pedestrian lanes are being considered for walkers incapable of ambulatory movement without a phone showing them the way.
November: An international road safety committee announces Bangkok pickup drivers have won the Road Courtesy Award for agreeing to drive on the correct side of the road "at least once a week". Runners-up are Bangkok's samlor drivers who promise not to ever drive again.
December: Bangkok is hit by a massive freak snowstorm. The Tourism Authority announces cut-price skiing holidays and launches a Miss Snowball beauty contest. Edith Clampton (Mrs), lashes the city authorities for not supplying her with a personal snow plough.
Here's wishing everyone the best of luck for 2020. I have a sneaking feeling we are going to need as much good fortune as we can muster.
Contact PostScript via email at oldcrutch@hotmail.com