Last weekend there was bit of a scene at Don Mueang airport when a passenger, after being told he was too late to board a domestic flight, decided the best response was to pick up the AirAsia computer laptop and smash it on the floor. Not a good idea.
Somehow the fellow, a former policeman, thought that arriving just four minutes before the plane was due to take off for Khon Kaen, was more than enough time for he and his wife to board. After being told they would have to wait for another flight the couple gave the AirAsia staff what can be politely termed a "bit of an earful" before he grabbed the laptop, hurled it on the floor and stormed off in a rage.
To be fair, the fellow has since apologised, admitting he was too late for the flight and paid for the damage incurred. But the Airport Authority of Thailand (AOT) has reportedly filed a suit against him. One suspects this sort of thing goes on more often than we know. There is something about airports that brings out the red mist.
There was a similar event at Don Mueang many years ago involving an Australian tourist. He discovered at check-in that his name wasn't on the passenger list and was politely told he would be put on standby. He told them what he thought of the situation, but unfortunately none of the Thai staff understood the meaning of "don't come the raw prawn with me".
He stood there for a while seething and then decided to take it out on the nasty laptop which had deleted his name. In front of the horrified staff, he grabbed the computer and smashed it on the floor.
Despite his behaviour, he got a seat on the plane. Apparently the ground staff just wanted to get rid of him.
Do you know who I am?
Airport incidents do not always involve computers. In Thailand it's often a result of someone who thinks they are important throwing a tantrum. This is known as the "do (sometimes 'don't') you know who I am?", syndrome. Readers may recall an incident at Suvarnabhumi airport a few years ago when somebody "important" slapped the ears of an airport security guard who had the temerity to request he underwent a standard body check. Sadly the ear-cuffing worked because he was let through, while the person he assaulted had to go to hospital suffering from ear drum damage.
It's not just airports. On a highway near Bangkok a couple of years ago an important person refused to submit to checkpoint breathalyser tests simply because he was … well, important. Alas, "do you know who I am?" still works a treat in Thailand.
Sorry mate
It is felt that the most pertinent response to someone who comes out with "do you know who I am?" is to reply, with a hint of concern, "No, I'm sorry, I can't help you there."
There is a lovely story concerning the late British Queen Mother visiting an old folks home in England and inquiring sweetly of one of the residents "do you know who I am?" To which she received the concerned reply, "No, I'm afraid not dear. But if you ask one of the nurses, she'll be able to tell you."
Acting up
Celebrities are often accused of "do you know who I am?" moments, but sometimes they can't avoid it.
When actor Ian McKellen showed up at the London premiere of Lord of the Rings, the doorman wouldn't let him in because he didn't have a ticket. The actor explained that he was one of the cast and was to appear on the stage before the film. The doorman was not convinced. Amused but a little frustrated, McKellen had to resort to asking the doorman if he knew who he was. "Sorry, I don't," came the reply.
At which point McKellen turned to wave to hundreds of fans outside and they all erupted with cheers. "Well, they all know who I am," he said, as the embarrassed doorman hastily let him in.
The beach bum
Some years ago actor Leonardo DiCaprio had a quirky experience while strolling along Malibu beach in his shorts. An elderly woman mistook him for a starving beach bum and offered a sandwich to keep him going. An amused DiCaprio accepted the sandwich, but thought he should explain "actually I'm an actor". The lady replied rather indignantly, "And I'm Raquel Welch!"
Actress Drew Barrymore had a similar experience while sitting in a Hollywood restaurant. A woman approached and offered what she thought was a compliment, saying, "If you were a bit fatter you would look just like Drew Barrymore."
Missing Edith
The item mentioning Edith Clampton (Mrs), in last week's column coincided with a couple of letters in our PostBag section about the good lady. One was from Ron Martin enquiring about Edith's whereabouts and the other from Constance Beasley who provided some answers. According to Constance, Edith is stuck in lockdown at home, wherever that is, and it is unlikely that she will return to Thailand as she believes it's no fun anymore. She may also be upset that in last week's column an "m" accidentally went missing and she became Clapton. Perhaps she's taken up the guitar.
Contact PostScript via email at oldcrutch@hotmail.com