Possibly the worst job in the world?

Possibly the worst job in the world?

On the day Americans went to the polls four years ago the Miami Herald ran what must have been its shortest-ever editorial which simply read: "Her, Not Him, Enough Said". In light of what ensued, it must have been tempting to blame the proof-readers and come out the next day with: "Correction: Him Not Her."

Like most newspapers in America and indeed, much of the world, the Herald backed the wrong horse. One wonders if this year they might come out with something similar, on the lines of "Not Him Again!"

Anyway it is something of a relief that the US presidential election finally takes place on Tuesday, although no doubt there could still be few twists in the tail. The campaigning feels like it has been going on forever, possibly because it has been going on forever. God help us if there is a dispute over the result.

Perhaps the most baffling thing is that, in such turbulent times, why anyone in their right mind would aspire to be a president, prime minister, dictator, despot, tyrant or whatever. This is particularly the case with the coronavirus running rampant.

Imagine waking up every morning knowing you are ultimately responsible for the welfare of every citizen in your country. Worst of all you cannot have soup stains on your tie or even a hint of dandruff. And the slightest cough is interpreted as a life-threatening ailment. It would be enough for most people to roll over and go back to sleep, except that they would probably suffer nightmares.

Just about everything the US president does affects the world. British historian Arnold Toynbee wasn't far off the mark when he commented: "America is a large friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair."

Nice to meet you too

As witnessed in recent exchanges, anyone aspiring to be US President requires a thick skin and has to put up with a fair share of insults such as "Sleepy Creepy" as Joe Biden can confirm. It's been going on for years of course, even back to the days when Teddy Roosevelt observed that William McKinley "had no more backbone than a chocolate éclair."

Someone who suffered in this respect was former president Gerald Ford. In a classic comment Lyndon Johnson noted: "Gerry Ford's a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off".

Not surprisingly Richard Nixon took a lot of flak during his presidency. US writer Norman Cousins observed: "Nixon's motto was if two wrongs don't make a right, try three."

One of Mr Nixon's fiercest critics was former president Harry Truman who described his political opponent as "shifty-eyed" and "a no-good lying bastard." Mr Truman once commented on Mr Nixon, "He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and if he ever caught himself telling the truth he'd lie just to keep his hand in."

Song and dance

Donald Trump likes his music as witnessed at his rallies, but these feelings are not necessarily reciprocated by the musicians, prompting scores of "cease-and-desist'' letters over the unauthorised use of their music. The latest is the estate of Tom Petty who have asked Mr Trump to stop playing "I Won't Back Down" at his rallies.

The Rolling Stones, who are definitely not Trump fans, have long complained about the use of "You Can't Always Get What You Want". The same goes for Neil Young who asked them to stop playing "Rockin' in The Free World". Among other artists who are not amused at their music featuring at the rallies are Elton John, Aerosmith, Adele and Queen.

More recently Mr Trump has been making his entrances and exits to the strains of the Village People's hits "YMCA" and "Macho Man", sometimes dancing to them, which is bit of a worry. Even the world of opera has got involved, with the estate of the late Luciano Pavarotti upset over the unauthorised use of "Nessun Dorma". Just as long as Mr Trump doesn't try to sing along with it.

Culture shock

Something I failed to mention in last week's column was that the Campaign For Nuclear Disarmament (CND) held a small protest in Thailand during the Vietnam War back in the late 1960s. A group of CND demonstrators waved placards and threatened a sit-down outside the main gates of the US Air Force base at Udon Thani.

According to a colleague, a Post photograph showed "a Labour MP, a clergyman and some stern-faced, middle-aged British women facing off some very confused Thai military police who didn't know whether to shoot them or wai them". The backdrop, just out of shot, was of the Magic Fingers Massage Parlour. Even in those days it was a funny old world.

Show biz

Comedian Jay Leno once remarked: "Politics is show business for ugly people. Being in politics is basically like being in B-movies." But if you had written a movie script based on the last four years in US politics it would almost certainly have been rejected on the grounds of being totally unbelievable.

The old dictum "democracy is the right to make the wrong choice" would seem a reasonable assessment of what voters face on Tuesday.


Contact PostScript via email at oldcrutch@hotmail.com

Roger Crutchley

Bangkok Post columnist

A long time popular Bangkok Post columnist. In 1994 he won the Ayumongkol Literary Award. For many years he was Sports Editor at the Bangkok Post.

Email : oldcrutch@gmail.com

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