It was a strange week even by US President Donald Trump's standards. It began with him pardoning turkeys and ended in pardoning former national security adviser Michael Flynn. Who is next in line for a pardon one wonders?
Mr Trump understandably wanted to get away from the White House after doing his duty with the traditional Thanksgiving turkeys, which prompted annoying headlines like "Lame duck pardons turkey".
Although he could not make it to Gettysburg as planned to join Rudy Giuliani, he did manage to phone in a speech to his loyal supporters. The speech may not have quite matched the eloquence of the "Gettysburg Address" delivered by President Abraham Lincoln in 1863, but it was colourful in its own way.
Despite the importance of what took place at Gettysburg all those years ago, not all Americans are fully aware of its history. Some years ago, The Tonight Show asked people on the street what they knew about the "Gettysburg Address". There were assorted flaky answers but the most entertaining came from a lady who said: "I've heard of the 'Gettysburg Address', but can't remember which street it's on."
On another occasion, US students were questioned about Gettysburg and there were plenty of dodgy responses. The best answer came from a young woman who correctly explained, "It's Lincoln's appeal to everyone, saying 'hey, chill out, we need to…you know, be cool and stuff.'"
That sounds like a most timely message for everyone in the world today.
Turkey trot
For anyone concerned about the welfare of the presidential turkeys, they were well looked after. Just like their predecessors, Mr Trump's turkeys Corn and Cob spent a couple of nights in a posh Washington hotel, complete with room service and two comfortable-looking beds. After the pardons the birds in past years were sent to assorted zoos, including the interestingly-named Frying Pan Farm Park in Virginia, or the equally intriguing Gobbler's Rest. You can't make this stuff up.
Just a dab
My thanks to a reader who suggested the greasy hair sported by spivs and wide boys mentioned in last week's column was most likely a result of using Brylcreem, a popular hair product. In the 1950s it was known for a catchy ad which informed us, "A Little Dab Will Do Ya!"
During World War II, the RAF in Britain were known as the Brylcreem Boys by other members of the armed forces because at the airbases they had a chance to have a proper haircut, unlike those in the army who were stuck in the battlefront trenches. The expression was initially meant as a mild insult, but after their heroic deeds in the Battle of Britain in 1940 the Brylcreem Boys quickly became a term of endearment and pride.
Hair creams made quite a cultural impact in the late 1950s especially with the emergence of Elvis Presley who used them to good effect. Not everyone liked greasy hair, however, and in 1962 there was even a song about it. Entitled "That Greasy Kid Stuff", Janie Grant sang about putting her fingers through her boyfriend's hair prompting the splendid lyrics:
"Are you still using that greasy kid stuff? That icky sticky ooey gooey greasy kid stuff."
Bad hair day
In the late 1950s, a boy called Richard who lived next door and was also my age, started to use Brylcreem. One day he gave me a dollop and I smothered my hair with it. When my mother saw me she had a fit and ordered me to wash my hair immediately. It took ages to wash the grease out and for that reason alone I've never since tried any type of gel.
After the greasy hair experience Richard, who was a bit of a rebel, adopted a crew cut, regarded in England as an "American haircut". I knew a crew cut would not go down well in our household so I stuck to the much safer, but very boring "short back and sides".
Shortly after that, the Beatles surfaced with their mop-heads and greasy hair quickly lost its appeal.
Misbehaving hyphens
A reader in England pointed out that in a recent PostScript I incorrectly hyphenated the town of Kingston Upon Thames. I suspect my brain had been scrambled by watching far too many hours of US election results. But that's no excuse considering I lived in Kingston as a student for three years and admit that it never really felt like a hyphenated town. It had more of a semi- colon feel to it, with the occasional exclamation mark when I had overindulged at the pub.
I have since discovered that Kingston dropped the hyphens in 1965. As I was in Kingston from 1964–67 that might explain my confusion -- I arrived in the town when it was hyphenated and when I left it was no longer hyphenated. Such dramatic times.
Full stop
Just like apostrophes, hyphens are becoming an endangered species in these Internet days. Even back in 2007 the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary announced a cull of unnecessary hyphens and "de-hyphenated" about 16,000 words. Just as long as they don't eliminate full stops -- then we would really be in trouble.
Contact PostScript via email at oldcrutch@hotmail.com