Thanks to readers for pointing out that in a recent column on quaint place names I failed to mention the village of Idle, now a suburb of Bradford, West Yorkshire.
It is particularly famous for its wonderfully-named Idle Working Men's Club, founded in 1928, the club badge being a worker leaning on a shovel. The village is known around the world. Among its honorary members have been 007 actor Roger Moore, celebrated spoon bender Uri Geller, champion jockey Lester Piggott, and former England footballer Paul Gascoigne.
All this Idle talk naturally brings us to the delights of Dull, a Scottish village in Perth and Kinross which in 2012 twinned with the equally alluring American town of Boring, in Oregon. They were later joined by Bland in New South Wales, Australia to form what is proudly known as the "Trinity of Tedium''.
In 2017, Dull held a grand reception for visiting Bland dignitaries who were greeted with a Gaelic version of "G'day mate".
On Aug 9 in Boring they celebrated the official annual "Dull and Boring Day" with an appropriate "not too exciting party". Citizens were spotted enjoying a Boring beer in a Boring pub, holding Boring conversations with Boring people. What more could you ask for? Even the dogs looked bored.
Dull usually marks the twinning in October. "There is never a dull moment in Dull," one extremely Dull resident told The Scotsman newspaper, although being a village of just 90 people one suspects it does have its quieter moments.
All roads lead to Dull
The Dull and Boring communities received a major boost a couple of years ago when car giant Jaguar featured both places to promote the launching of their sleek Jaguar F-type.
In an entertaining TV advertisement which can be seen on YouTube, two residents from Dull and two from Boring are shown whizzing around their respective communities in the F-type, much to the envy of their of their fellow Dull and Boring residents. The ad concludes with the claim that if you drive this car there is "Never a Dull (or Boring) moment"
One Dull villager was delighted when he was given a speaking part in the two-minute ad. "I had to say 'Dull' over and over again," he told reporters, proudly noting he had diligently rehearsed his lines so there would be no slip-ups. Alas, his dreams of becoming a Dull celebrity disappeared when they cut out his part from the final clip.
Ain't that peculiar
It would be remiss not mention a few more American towns that are as equally intriguing as Boring. One that immediately springs to mind is Normal in Illinois. What could be more dull and boring than normal?
Then there is the town of Peculiar in Missouri. When the town was founded in the mid-19th century the settlers could not agree on a name and sent a letter to the postmaster-general stating "we don't mind what name you give us as long as it's sort of peculiar". The official replied that if they wanted a peculiar name then simply call it Peculiar.
The township of Odd in West Virginia acquired its name in a similar fashion. During much wrangling over what to call the place someone remarked "that's odd" and the town name was born. Perhaps Peculiar and Odd should get together with a town called Strange in Ontario and set up their own "Trinity of Abnormality".
Nothing to declare
America is replete with all sorts of intriguing place names. One that caught my eye is No Name, a small town in Colorado. Then there is the settlement of Nothing in Arizona, not to be confused with the nearby town of Nowhere (alas not twinned with Nakhon Nowhere in Thailand). Just imagine being stopped by US highway police and telling them you come from Nowhere. That's when the handcuffs come out. Some names admittedly lack a certain appeal, like Arsenic Tubs in New Mexico and Drain in Oregon. We must also not forget the Texas settlement of Toadsuck, which would be a good name for a punk band.
Sounds wrong
As any Sassenach is painfully aware, certain Scottish place-names can cause problems among visitors. Trying to pronounce places like Auchenshuggle, Auchtermuchty and Ecclefechan can do your vocal chords serious damage. Kirkcudbright, Balquhidder and Ballachulish are also bit of a mouthful.
It is hardly surprising that tourists can get a little confused.
A few years ago an American woman arrived at the Edinburgh Tourist Office, and after referring to a note announced she wanted to go to "Ten NA".
They hadn't a clue what she was talking about, so they asked to see the note. It read "Iona" a lovely island in the Inner Hebrides.
Time for a pint
On holiday in Devon a dozen years ago I came across some glorious names like Budleigh Salterton, Ottery St Mary and Newton Poppleford. I was staying in the seaside resort of Seaton and just along the coast is a fishing village by the name of Beer. It is a delightful spot and like most tourists I couldn't resist having a beer in Beer. Okay, I had more than one … those West Country pints slide down rather nicely. The whole area is known as the Jurassic Coast where dinosaurs used to roam.
As a certified fossil, I felt quite at home.
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