It is encouraging to learn that it is not just Thailand that gets into deep water involving contracts over submarines. France is most upset with Australia for pulling the plug on a nuclear submarine deal, resulting in various shades of not-so-diplomatic name-calling. Standing out was the rather poignant observation from the recalled French ambassador to Australia that "what makes me sad is that we thought we were mates but we were stabbed in the back".
Time to get the handkerchiefs out, preferably with a hint of French perfume.
Actually the envoy could possibly have come up with a few entertaining Aussie expressions which may have made a bigger impact. One that immediately springs to mind is "don't come the raw prawn with me", a colourful antipodean way of indicating strong disapproval.
I am confident the present squabble between France and Australia will soon be sorted out. The French shouldn't worry. The Aussies are basically a jolly lot and they will soon be "mates" again, responding with something like "no worries mate, she'll be right". Before long the French and Aussies will be getting together to enjoy "throwing a shrimp on the barbie", sharing a few "stubbies" and returning to an Entente Cordiale.
However, I'm not so sure what the French made of British Premier Boris Johnson defending the submarine deal with "donnez-moi un break" (give us a break) and "prenez un grip" (get a grip). Entertaining though it might be, Johnson's "Franglais" did not go down too well in some quarters.
Acronym anguish
The new pact which sparked the collapse of the French submarine deal has also spawned a not very appealing acronym "Aukus" which sounds a bit like an extinct bird you may have seen flapping around in Jurassic Park or perhaps the sound of someone about to throw up.
I must admit to not being keen on acronyms, particularly in newspaper headlines. Apart from the fact that no one has a clue what they stand for, they just look plain ugly.
This allergy to acronyms was brought on in the early 1970s in Thailand when there was a draconian and very unpopular organisation called the Board of Inspection and Follow-up of Government Operations.
As it was bit of a mouthful it was one case where an acronym was useful and it was known as "Bifgo" which unfortunately sounded to many like a tin of dogfood, prompting assorted "ruff justice" jokes.
It was always in the news and we had curious headlines like "Bifgo to act on live shows" and "Bifgo beef-up" which only confirmed its canine food image.
Bifgo was supposed to be an anti-corruption organisation but was disbanded in 1973 when all five members were themselves found guilty of corruption -- an early introduction to Amazing Thailand.
Alphabet soup
I have often wondered why the Football Association of Thailand doesn't change its wording slightly to Thailand Football Association so that its acronym is TFA rather than the unfortunate FAT, hardly ideal for a sporting organisation. This has led to such splendid headlines as "FAT officials plump for action", "FAT boss urges players to get fit" and "Govt backs FAT men".
One of the classic unfortunate acronyms surfaced in World War II when the the commander in chief of the United States Fleet was called CINCUS, pronounced "sink us". It was quietly dropped in 1941. Probably the most infamous American acronym was CREEP, ex-president Nixon's "Committee for the Re-election of the President". However, that was probably preferable to its original title of CRAP.
Another acronym that raised a few eyebrows was Britain's awkwardly named Electrical, Electronic, Telecommunications and Plumbing Union, otherwise known as EETPU. No need to explain how it was pronounced.
Seafaring talk
Last week's item about everyday expressions that originated from naval terms prompted considerable comment, so let's try a few more.
One of the most unpopular assign-ments on the old sailing ships was keeping watch on the windward side of the vessel. It was the place most vulnerable to the weather and with all the pitching and rolling of the sea, combined with rain, many crew fell sick on duty. Sailors on this unpleasant assignment were said to be "under the weather", an expression we have all probably experienced.
Something many may know is the origin of the expression "to turn a blind eye'' meaning to pretend not to notice, or ignore something that you know is wrong. That dates back to Admiral Lord Horatio Nelson who in the Battle of Copenhagen in 1801 when things were going badly famously ignored a signal to withdraw by raising a telescope to his blind eye saying, "I really don't see a signal."
Cannon fodder
During naval battles on occasions all the cannons on one side of a ship would be fired simultaneously for maximum impact. This became known as "delivering a broadside" which is used often today, particularly in politics when an MP launches a volley of criticism at other politicians.
The ship's cannons are the source of many present-day expressions. During a major storm, cannons would often break loose and create mayhem, causing major damage and injuries. Hence came the expression "loose cannon" for someone prone to unpredictable behaviour which may lead to unfortunate incidents.
I think I've met a few of those people.
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