The 'best job in the world' takes its toll

The 'best job in the world' takes its toll

I am no fan of politicians but occasionally politics creates some splendid theatre, although some might call it pantomime. This was the case in the British Houses of Parliament this past week as Prime Minister Boris Johnson attempted to hold on to what he called "the best job in the world".

Watching the proceedings at Prime Minister's Question Time (PMQ) live on Wednesday was more entertaining than any soap opera. The prime minister came under fire from all sides and it was fascinating watching him at the dispatch box trying to sidestep awkward questions. It was not exactly a Shakespearean tragedy but I half expected the PM to come out with "Et tu Brute?".

There was plenty of verbal jousting and references were made to "the first case of the sinking ship fleeing the rat" and the "charge of the lightweight brigade''. The PM was also likened to the dead parrot from the Monty Python sketch. No wonder former prime minister Harold Macmillan referred to PMQ as like being thrown into a bear pit.

Rubbing things in, as PMQ concluded there was a chorus from opposition MPs of "Bye bye Boris".

After the PMQ ordeal Mr Johnson then faced a grilling from a hostile parliamentary committee. It was a classic case of "out of the frying pan into the fire". He resembled a naughty schoolboy being summoned to the headmaster's office to explain himself.

So much for "the best job in the world".

Johnson managed to display some humour, however. When asked what kind of week he was having he dryly responded "terrific". It raises the question once again as to why would anyone want to become a prime minister, president, despot, dictator or whatever. Are they all a little bit loopy?

The Chief Mouser

One of the more entertaining episodes came when two BBC reporters were standing outside No.10 on Wednesday discussing Mr Johnson's fate when the prime minister's cat Larry arrived on the scene. The cat, officially known as the "Chief Mouser", sat on the doorstep for a while staring with some disdain at the hordes of newsmen assembled across the road. The door of No.10 opened to let the brown and white tabby in, but the moggy, which is known to be a cat with a bit of attitude, stayed on the doorstep for some time before he was eventually persuaded to go inside.

A tweet later appeared from "Larry the Cat" in which the feline announced, "I can no longer, in good conscience, live with the Prime Minister. Either he goes or I do." When your own cat turns against you it is definitely time to pack it in.

Sleeping on the job

Cat lovers will be aware that Larry was a stray at Battersea Dogs and Cats home before being picked up by No.10 staff in 2011 when David Cameron moved in. Despite his official title, Larry has not been the most efficient rat catcher and received an official reprimand in 2012 when a large rodent was spotted taking a stroll in Mr Cameron's study. The cat reportedly spends most of his time sleeping, prompting the tabloid press to dub him "Lazy Larry".

However he has been involved in a number of territorial skirmishes with fellow felines, particularly with Palmerston, the younger resident moggy at the nearby Foreign Office. Larry is also said to be less than friendly with Gladstone, the chief mouser at the Treasury.

Larry made news during President Trump's visit when the cat chose to lie down for a nap under the president's Cadillac and refused to budge. I bet that's one scenario the US Secret Service hadn't covered in their training.

High wire act

A lasting image of Boris I can't shake off occurred back in 2012 during his time as London Mayor when he got stuck on a zip-wire. Never one to shy away from a photo-op he made the mistake of attempting a spectacular Tarzan-like zip-wire entrance at Victoria Park for a function promoting the Olympics. It started off okay as he whizzed above the public waving two Union Jacks and the assembled crowd cheering.

But then things started to go wrong….

Down to earth

The zip-wire lost momentum and then ground to a halt leaving Boris inelegantly suspended five metres in the air, looking quite vulnerable. All he could do was shout to bystanders: "Get me a ladder."

Spectators found it hilarious as Boris dangled there helplessly and there were shouts of "Is it a bird?" to which someone replied, "No, it's a buffoon." Perhaps the best description came from a lady who remarked, "He was hanging there like a damp towel slung over a washing line on a soggy day."

He was eventually rescued, but certainly if there had been an Olympic medal for "disoriented dangling" Boris would have been a front-runner.

Little things

I enjoyed a positive experience at my local supermarket the other day.

I had just paid when a security guard standing nearby stepped forward, bent down and handed me a 1,000 baht note which I was totally unaware I had dropped. I thanked him for his honesty but he refused to accept any monetary gift. He simply shook his head politely and smiled.

It's little things like that which give one hope.


Contact PostScript via email at oldcrutch@hotmail.com

Roger Crutchley

Bangkok Post columnist

A long time popular Bangkok Post columnist. In 1994 he won the Ayumongkol Literary Award. For many years he was Sports Editor at the Bangkok Post.

Email : oldcrutch@gmail.com

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