It seems a bit of a paradox to be sitting in Bangkok and reading about how hot it is in London. But this was the case last week when for the first time Britain experienced temperatures exceeding 40C. Heathrow Airport was the first to clock that magic number. Last time I was at Heathrow it was more like 4C.
As the British normally get excited when the temperature approaches 25C, these latest figures were a bit too much to take. In the UK warm weather is traditionally something to celebrate but not this time. It was too hot to do anything as citizens struggled to come to terms with London being warmer than the Caribbean or Western Sahara.
On Tuesday virtually every British newspaper carried the same front-page photograph of a Queen's Guard, wearing a traditional bear-skin hat on duty outside Buckingham Palace, being given a sip of water by a policeman. The Daily Star headlined it, "And you thought YOU were having a tough day".
In the past when it was hot the British tabloids usually settled on the headline "Phew! What a Scorcher" or something similar. But this time it called for something a bit different … well, actually not that different. The Sun called it the "British Bake Off" with an additional warning "Britain Is Melting", while the Daily Mirror went for the painful pun "Record Baker" in what they called "Blowtorch Britain". The Daily Mail settled for "The Great British Meltdown".
The best way to handle extreme heat is probably to do as little as possible, something I have just about got the hang of in Bangkok.
Perspiring piggies
Apart from the serious concerns about fires, there were assorted tales related to the heatwave, from melting airport runways to zoo animals including parrots and pandas being given ice lollies. Then there were farmers around the country lathering their pigs in sunscreen which they hoped might just save their bacon.
Even my home town of Reading was sweltering in the heat with one local news organisation proudly announcing "Reading hotter than Hawaii!" while the town's Forbury Gardens were said to resemble the Canary Islands, although you needed a bit of imagination for that one.
The hot weather also saw Brits finally discovering that umbrellas are not only for keeping the rain off but also are very useful as protection from the sun, something we witness every day in Thailand. Thankfully the heatwave didn't last and sweating citizens were soon using the brollies for their traditional function as thunderstorms and heavy rain swept across the country.
The Arrows
The heatwave didn't stop the Farnborough Air Show taking place for the first time in four years, sparking fond memories. Every summer in the late 1950s and early 60s I would stay at my grandmother's home which backed onto Farnborough airfield. In the weeks before the air show I would see all the new planes and some of the old ones preparing for the show. Look skywards and you would invariably witness some kind of plane performing aerobatics. In effect it was a free air show on a daily basis.
The highlight was the Black Arrows (now Red Arrows) and their Hawker Hunter jets as the nine planes would swoop low over the houses, day after day. It was the most awesome noise I had ever heard and would never be allowed these days, but I thought it was absolutely fantastic. Grandma was less impressed by the racket and when the jets roared just above the rooftops she took refuge in the pantry where she would remain until the rehearsals were over.
'Vulcan Howl'
Impressive though they were, the Hawker Hunters weren't the loudest. That dubious honour went to the Avro Vulcan bombers and what became known as the "Vulcan Howl" which admittedly sounds more like the title of a B-grade horror movie. When the Vulcans were taking off the whole house rattled and I was tempted to take cover in the pantry along with grandma.
Highs and lows
For the curious the highest temperature recorded in Thailand is 44.6C at Mae Hong Son in April 2016, while on the entire planet it was 56.7 in Death Valley, California in July 1913. It was recorded at a place fittingly called Furnace Creek, which incidentally hosts a golf tournament quirkily named the Heatstroke Open.
The temperature in Thailand is more likely to make the headlines when it gets "a bit chilly", by Thai standards anyway. The coldest temperature recorded in Thailand was in the Northeastern province of Sakon Nakhon which dipped to minus 1.4C in January 1974, while the coldest temperature experienced in Bangkok was 9.9C in 1955.
I recall a cold spell in the 1980s when the temperature fell to about 12C prompting the Bangkok World newspaper to come out with the splendid banner headline: "Brrr!"
Rising damp
Wednesday night's heavy storm in Bangkok sparked a predictable negative reaction on social media with people complaining about flooded streets. Frankly when it buckets down like that for hours on end there isn't much the authorities can do about it.
There was a similar occurrence in 2016 and I remember the Bangkok governor at that time explaining, "It's not floods. It's water waiting to drain away.'' He added rather undiplomatically, "If you want to avoid floods, go live on a mountaintop."
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