The Paris Olympics have sparked memories of the time as an eight-year-old I was dressed up as a French Gendarme for a Christmas concert at a church hall in England. There were four of us and we had to perform The Bold Gendarmes, a popular song in the mid 1950s by French operetta composer Jacques Offenbach. It made gentle fun of the French policemen as the opening lyrics suggest:
"We're public guardians bold, but wary/ And of ourselves we take good care/
"To risk our precious lives we're chary/ When anger looms we're never there…"
The song goes on to relate that despite their reluctance to chase down criminals the gendarmes were not averse to nabbing occasional innocent children and helpless women or as the lyrics inform us "run them in".
We were dressed up in pantomime-like gendarme uniforms complete with those funny-looking "kepi" hats, and given large black cardboard truncheons of varying sizes. Being the youngest and smallest, for comic effect I was given the largest oversized truncheon while the tallest lad had the smallest.
When we sang the chorus "We run them in…" we raised out truncheons in a mock menacing manner which prompted considerable mirth from the audience as we looked anything but menacing. We were also out of step and out of tune. In fact the worse our performance got the more the audience enjoyed it. That was the beginning and end of my stage musical career.
Frangleterre
About the time I was pretending to be a gendarme there was the messy 1956 Suez Crisis which sparked a kind of "entente cordiale" between England and France. Something that is not widely known is that French PM Guy Mollet at that time actually proposed a union with the UK. It briefly prompted newspapers to ponder the prospect of a new country which they dubbed "Frangleterre". Not surprisingly the idea was hastily dropped.
Life in our household could have been quite different if the proposal had gone through. The diet would have become more appealing for a start. Instead of dull English lunches we might have been sampling "canard au sang" or "coq au vin" and maybe some "boeuf" all washed down with glasses of Chablis or Beaujolais.
It wouldn't have done me much good though. The only French I knew at the time was the opening lines of "Sur le Pont d'Avignon" which would not have got me very far in France, except perhaps to Avignon.
'Sweet Caroline'
One song that can be heard at just about every Olympic event in Paris is Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline. It is quite remarkable how this 1969 song has caught on at sporting occasions around the world.
You can almost guarantee it will be played at any large sports gathering and smaller venues too. It seems to be the ultimate feel-good singalong anthem with its message "good times never seemed so good".
Having said that, I'm less than enthused by the song. Maybe it's because I have heard it so many times that it feels rather corny.
In the United States Sweet Caroline was first adopted by the NFL team Carolina Panthers for obvious reasons and later the Boston Red Sox baseball team.
In Britain for some time it has been played by many football clubs and most recently the England national team.
After reaching the Euro 24 final manager Gareth Southgate even commented: "You can't beat a bit of Sweet Caroline can you?"
Girl on a horse
According to Diamond, the song was about his then-wife Marcia. However, he was looking for a girl's name with three syllables to fit comfortably with the song's melody.
When he saw a photo of a young Caroline Kennedy, the only surviving child of John F Kennedy, sitting on a horse he decided that Caroline was just the right name for the song. It turned out to be a wise choice and he was later to perform it for Caroline K on her 50th birthday.
Rocking at the Palace
There are numerous other songs that despite their vintage still make regular appearances at modern sporting events. They invariably have a catchy chorus which makes it easy for large crowds to sing along with. Of course a lot depends on the individual taste of the stadium dee jays, but you can just about guarantee you will hear Queen's "We Will Rock You" at most major events.
That song also featured in the memorable occasion two years ago when Paddington Bear took afternoon tea with Queen Elizabeth. The Queen and the bear tapping their tea cups and saucers with silver spoons to the rhythm of We Will Rock You was a lovely moment and the icing on the royal cake.
Stadium anthems
Other regulars at big events are Start Me Up (Rolling Stones), Livin' on a Prayer (Bon Jovi) and Lola (Kinks). Then there's the old favourite that refuses to go away, YMCA (Village People).
There is another Queen number guaranteed to be played at the end of the season but only by the triumphant clubs. They just can't resist playing We Are the Champions.
And who knows? If the Big Mango is ever awarded the Olympics we might even hear One Night in Bangkok echoing in stadiums around the world… or maybe not.
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