I am not a feminist
A couple of weeks ago we celebrated International Women's Day. Well, when I say "we" I mean people who care and when I say "celebrated" I mean posting three semi-funny quotes about women in Facebook. You know, a symbolic celebration, what they mean when they say "it's the least we can do" _ which usually is exactly what it sounds like: the bare minimum that one needs to do in order to seem like a good person.
But for me this celebration is always greeted with mixed emotions for it is a date when feminists become vocal and _ what can I tell you? _ I just don't like feminists. Fighting for one of the sexes seems a bit immature to me, as I'm a humanist. I believe that everybody has to be treated the same way, not matter what they have between their legs (and after living in Thailand for many years you learn that even this distinction can be very flexible.)
What I have against feminists is not that they fight for women's rights and equality. Women are people, people have rights, period. End of story.
I do acknowledge the fact that women have to fight because, if I have to tell the truth, most members of the male sex are not that bright and do not respond well to rational arguments and ideas. Give us football, cars that make a lot of noise and beer commercials with young girls wearing nothing and we are happy. Simple creatures. Thinking? That's not our game.
What bothers me with feminists is that they try to be men, and that is just a sad, stupid thing to do. For me, a woman who tries to be a man, is like a bird that tries to be a turtle, I really don't see the point in making such a downgrade in your life.
Yes, I know, we men are responsible _ thanks to our endless motivation to prove how strong and powerful we are _ for some of the most amazing feats of engineering and some of the greatest technical accomplishments in the world, but when I see a skyscraper that is 101 floors high I always ask myself what is wrong with having two buildings of fifty floors each, or even three with thirty floors. But no, we men have that need to show that we have a huge, erect high-rise. Oh well, simple creatures. Told you.
I'm the last person who would tell a woman that she has to be in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant (mostly because I cook better, and they disturb me when they come into my kitchen; but that's my own personal problem), but I'm always sad when I see what might be called "career women" who actually think that being a vice-president, or head of a department in some huge soulless company, is what they need in order to be fulfilled. Most of the men I meet in these positions are nothing to write home about, and very far from what I would consider role models or someone to look up to.
Women who try to be men, or at least beat men at their own game, are missing the point. And the point is that this game is only important to ... men. Again, simple creatures. We need letters after our name. We need suits to show we are important. We need big cars to show we ... well, we all know what a big shiny car is replacing, and it is something that women, thank god, don't have.
Is it not enough that women are subjected to absurd notions of beauty that are invented by men? (Well, actually invented by gay men who think a woman should have the figure of a preteen boy, but that's another story for another time.) Is it not enough that values like caring and having a soft and more understanding view of the world are regarded as inferior in this modern world?
I am asking all women not to take part in this stupid game. Find out what makes you fulfilled, not what society might consider a success.
If you really want to be an international businesswoman, then go for it and I'm sure you'll have more success than most men (not that it's hard ...), but don't look down on those who choose to be wives, mothers, home-makers, educators, role models for the next generation.
Don't fall into that trap of trying to prove things. The only reason that men put you down is because they are afraid; they know you are much better than them.
And believe me, speaking as a man, I know: we need you more then you will ever need us. And why don't most men get it? Well, what do you expect _ they're men, aren't they?
His weird views are featured in his personal article reservoir, www.bucketmoon.com.
Boaz Zippor is an artist, writer, poet and rambling 'ranteur' living in Bangkok.