You can look, but please don't touch
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You can look, but please don't touch

When we were kids, most of us heard the words "don't touch that!" from our parents if we were in the presence of something breakable and possibly valuable. That's probably what a father wishes he had said when he took his four-year-old son to a museum in the Israeli city of Haifa last week.

The Hecht Museum featured a priceless 3,500-year-old Bronze Age water jar. According to the father, his son was curious to see what was inside the large vessel and "pulled the jar slightly". Not a good idea. The jar fell to the floor and smashed into pieces leaving both father and son in a state of shock.

The museum authorities were incredibly understanding, however, claiming they could restore the artefact. They even invited the boy and his father back to the exhibition but this time on a guided "do not touch" tour.

Nonetheless, it's hard not to shake off the feeling that inquisitive kids and priceless artefacts are not a good mix.

Over the years, there have been many incidents of accidental breakage, some quite unusual. On a visit to the Fitzwilliam Museum at Cambridge University in 2006, a visitor tripped over his shoelaces, fell down the stairs and crashed into a display of three Qing Dynasty vases valued at US$400,000 (13.6 million baht). He quietly sneaked off pretending nothing untoward had happened, leaving the sorry vases in pieces on the floor.

He was later apprehended by police, but his only punishment was a polite letter from the authorities asking him not to visit the museum again. A very British solution.

Self-inflicted

Not surprisingly these days, there are an increasing number of selfie-related accidents in museums and art galleries with people taking photographs of themselves while walking backwards into famous paintings or knocking over treasured artefacts. One insurer said the number of selfie-related incidents damaging works of art had reached "a pandemic level".

In 2017, there was an infamous incident at a Los Angeles art gallery featuring a series of sculptures placed on a line of pedestals. A female selfie-taker slipped while attempting a photo, knocking over a pedestal and creating a disastrous domino effect as the whole line of sculptures fell to the floor. The estimated damage to the collection was US$200,000.

It would be nice to think a simple "No Photographs" sign might help in galleries and museums although one suspects it would be totally ignored.

Naked masterpiece

While we are in an "arty" mood, here is a reminder that you have to be careful when it comes to children and famous artworks. There was a case in Connecticut some time ago where a school bus route was changed after an anguished parent claimed his daughter was paying too much attention to a street-side sculpture. It turned out to be a reproduction of Michelangelo's acclaimed nude David and his anatomically generous appendage. I don't know if the daughter had taken a selfie of it.

Despite being a masterpiece, the David statue has always sparked controversy. When it was first unveiled in Florence in 1504, Leonardo de Vinci suggested it might be an idea to give it a loin cloth to cover the sensitive bits.

Electric performance

Motorists on Vibhavadi Rangsit Road in Bangkok were recently treated to a bizarre sight of a young Chinese woman driving an electric suitcase towards Don Mueang Airport. She seemed quite at ease spending time playing with her smartphone in her left hand while manoeuvring her way through heavy traffic. It will come as no surprise she was not wearing a crash helmet.

Well, what can you say? Driving a mobile suitcase is not a great idea on any road let alone a busy highway. Let's hope it doesn't catch on. The last thing we need is hundreds of tourists whizzing around Bangkok aboard e-suitcases.

Bangkok's eagle-eyed traffic police later confirmed it is illegal to ride suitcases on roads. The lady is apparently back in China where we hope she finds a more sedate form of transport.

Farewell Sven

It was sad to hear that former England football manager Sven-Goran Eriksson has passed away at the age of 76. The Swede was the first foreigner to manage England.

I was fortunate enough to meet Eriksson a couple of times and had a good chat with him when he came to Bangkok as manager of Manchester City in November 2007. As always, he was impeccably dressed in a neat suit, white shirt and light blue club tie. The softly-spoken Swede looked more like an accountant than a football boss.

Sven had a taste for Thai food and I left him at the Conrad Hotel tucking into Tom Yam Goong and spring rolls and looking quite content. Alas, he was sacked at the end of the season.

Soggy signature

I have never been an autograph collector, but admit to weakening when Sven signed a City shirt for me. A few days later, I was hunting around for the shirt at home but couldn't find it. I asked the wife if she had seen it and she explained she had put it in the wash because it had a black stain. The "stain" was of course Sven's signature, which fortunately was strong enough not to be deleted by Thai washing powder.


Contact PostScript via email at oldcrutch@hotmail.com

Roger Crutchley

Bangkok Post columnist

A long time popular Bangkok Post columnist. In 1994 he won the Ayumongkol Literary Award. For many years he was Sports Editor at the Bangkok Post.

Email : oldcrutch@gmail.com

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