I recently visited my good Danish friends in Copenhagen as I do once or twice a year when chances permit. As per our tradition, before going out and losing a bit of humanity on the town, we salivate over a shared tray of Stegt flaesk (dudes, should we really be eating fried bacon at our age?) and exchange stories of our lives that extend beyond social media.
I was delighted to hear that one of them has finally found a nice girlfriend whom I later met. She turns out to be a bit younger than us, around eight or nine years. All fine and dandy, I said.
Then he said: "We're happy. It's easier dating a younger girl." I stopped eating, fork in the middle of the air, and looked up at him before I said: "You did NOT just say that to my face."
Then all of us launched into a fit of laughter before regaling each other with some comic-tragic night out stories.
I didn't think much about that remark on that particular night, but for the next few days when my mind was totally blank (yes, you blank out when you're on vacation or at work) as I strolled around town, I couldn't help wondering what it really meant that younger girls were "easier" in relationships.
I mean it's very common that older men pair off with younger women. HuffPost even has a slideshow on such nuptials among Hollywood celebrities, detailing the difference in age between the couples.
Some go as high as 35 years. I can't remember what the age difference between Hugh Hefner and his latest bunny is _ 50? 60? Or 100? How old is Hugh anyway?
Personally, I don't find it so strange as long as it doesn't foray into paedophilic territory.
People with power, fame and money usually possess _ as much as you want to romanticise the notion of "love" _ the ability to attract no matter what age or gender they are. For the record, I must state that my friends and I are still on the lighter side of being 30-somethings, and we still do a lot of the same stuff that we did when we were 20-somethings, albeit feeling sick for the next day, curling on a couch while swearing we will never drink again.
So what is it about younger women that makes them more desirable in relationships? Was I even that younger woman once?
Obviously, the physical aspects of ladies with tender years are probably ranked No.1.
You can't deny that. It's just a matter of science and corporeal desires. But I knew my friend wasn't talking about such things.
To him and a lot more men, I suspect, it has to do with the level of maintenance, the level of ease enjoyed sailing through a successful relationship.
And I thought it always had something to do with looks and manipulation. Maybe it's not just that.
Besides the entire physical appearance conundrum, I used to think 30-something women had more to offer. With experience, career stability, a more even temperament and that whole having learned from mistakes saga, it should somehow make us more accepting and "easier" to get along with. At least I thought we were, until recently.
Maybe we know too much. We ask too many questions. We demand a great deal out of men. We have higher standards. We think we have it all, but maybe not a lot of luck.
Then I wonder, if this train of thought is universally true and the younger ones are easier, do I change in order to mate? Do I conceal experience gained, heartaches received and lessons learned to go with the flow? Do I change completely to finally settle down? Or should I even care, or pretend that I care, what men think?
Once again, I'm stuck in a police roadblock without any alcohol in my blood stream. But one thing I know is that the smell of desperation is highly detectable, especially as you grow older. No amount of expensive perfume or self-hypnotic mantras will outdo the reek. So it's best to come to terms with your reality, and deal with it like a grown woman.
Say "I'm a 30-something woman, hear me roar", and believe it. Well, maybe not so much a roar, a whimper might be alright.
Or possibly, I can just find a much younger guy, preferably in his early 20s, and ask him to go out for a fried bacon meal with me. Life, then, would be much "easier".
Onsiri Pravattiyagul writes about music and popular culture for Life.