Thoughts that Bangkokians have on any given day
published : 22 May 2015 at 03:30
newspaper section: Guru
1. Is today the "hottest day of the year" that they've been talking about? It sure feels like the sun is being extra vicious by b*tch-slapping my face and stabbing my skin.
2. Well thanks for actually stabbing me in the eye with your umbrella, lady. I know it's hard to watch where you're going or who you're poking when you're busy staring down at your phone.
3. Seriously, I guess walking on the sidewalk isn't a talent everyone is born with, especially when it requires expert skills like putting one foot in front of the other.
4. OK, you better have a doctor's note to explain why three-legged elephants walk faster than you. Now I'll make sure you hear my exasperated huff as I get ready to charge at super-speed and manoeuvre around your slow-moving ways.
5. Yay, I see the drinks vendor! I'll have my ridiculously sweet condensed milk with some coffee please.
6. Finally at the BTS. Why do I always end up at the side that has no escalator? They should really do something about that.
7. No, I'm not sorry I rammed into you. Stopping on the stairs to check your phone isn't really the smartest idea, dummy! Keep it moving!
8. Great, I have to top up my Rabbit card. There's nothing I love more than standing in this long line because only one counter is open, while waiting for all these tourists who don't know where they're going. They should put up a huge sign that says "MBK is at the National Stadium station. Stop asking."
9. That's a good idea, I should post that as my Facebook status.
10. Actually, maybe not. It'll probably just get a few likes and no comments.
11. I'm pretty sure that people purposely step over the yellow line just so the security guard can blow his whistle. At least passengers sorta queue up now to wait for the train though. That's an improvement.
12. Chaos! Let them exit first! Don't trample me! Move inside the train! Why are you breathing in my face! That pole isn't for you to lean on! I hate you all!
13. Phew, glad that's over. I wonder what I should eat for lunch today.
14. Didn't I just see a 7-Eleven two seconds ago?
15. What is this weird unidentified liquid that always drips down from random storefronts?! Gross!
16. It's called a pedestrian crossing! Why are buses so intent on running me over? Why won't any motorcycles stop for me? Why doesn't anyone know how to drive?
17. Noodles: Best. Thing. Ever.
18. I don't care what anyone says, ice cream tastes so much better in a flimsy hot dog bun. I should Instagram this.
19. Oh man, now I'm sleepy and too full to do anything. Why is it so hot? Better go to a mall.
20. Wow, I can't believe this taxi driver agreed to take me with no complaints! This is the best day ever! Things are really looking up!
21. Ugh, so, so, so much traffic. Groan. Damn you, Bangkok! I need a drink.
Former Guru Editor
Our Guru section former editor. She has writen numerous features the metro lifestyle section.