I was scrolling through my Facebook and Instagram feeds during a layover between flights recently. Perhaps it was jet lag or exhaustion but as I was flipping through my phone, I became a bit bothered by the amount of young girls showing cleavages, midriffs, and wearing bottoms that were too small, or too short and sometimes even both. From young ladies posting sexy selfies, to Miley Cyrus' extreme Video Music Awards outfits, the media seems to be flooded with overexposure.
I am believer that it is possible for women to be sultry without revealing too much. A beautiful décolletage combined with clean and tidy hair, with slightly sun-kissed skin can be beautiful and alluring. On occasion, American, European, and even Australian high fashion trends include the use of provocative cut-outs, sheer fabric, lace, plunging necklines, and body-hugging fits. These elements consistently feature in many past and present collections by big names from the fashion world.
There is a fine line between smut and art. In the 1993 Calvin Klein's Obsession For Men campaign, Kate Moss was photographed in the nude while laying on a black sofa. The image was striking, provocative and controversial. Despite the actual photos used in their ad campaigns, though, Calvin Klein's clothes are for the most part, conservative. There are other big designer names that do, however, carry revealing pieces in their collection. Although high-end fashion designers may push the fashion envelope with revealing pieces, it does not mean that everyone should wear scandalous clothing. Using sexually seductive elements in art, film, photography and fashion in a tasteful manner takes a unique talent to strike the right balance. Something that not everyone is capable of achieving.
People have different interpretations of what is acceptable when it comes to female dress and appearance. There is no denying that sex appeal is a part of a women's identity. The excitement of getting noticed is exhilarating and the instant boost of self-confidence feels nice. This is why, perhaps, so many young girls try to gain the attention of the opposite sex by wearing scantily-clad clothing. The question is what kind of attention they are getting and whose. Shock is definitely a type of attention. A woman's skin is like a sweet and although the intention may be to use sweets to attract bees, sweets also unfortunately attract ants and flies.
While checking my social media feeds, I have also noticed that some of the women taking selfies of themselves in short-shorts and showing their cleavages and midriffs are not just the stereotypical young girls. Some are older with children and with professional careers. I am not going to keep any gals at whatever age from expressing themselves, but some of these photos are just juvenile and reckless.
I wonder if they have considered the implication of what would happen if a boss, co-worker, or even pupil discovers these images. Even if the images are old and taken long ago, they can still cause a great deal of embarrassment.
Little girls look up to their mums because in most cases, mum is the first woman in a girl's life. Other women such as aunts, sisters, cousins, nannies, and even close family friends also have an influence on a girl's perception of what is appropriate and what is inappropriate behaviour. Young girls are already exposed to images of movie and television starlets dressed in provocative clothing, so if the adult females in their lives also dress in a similar fashion, trying to teach a young girl to strike a balance between self-expression and what is socially acceptable will be difficult.
Like little girls, during their formative years, little boys also look to the women in their family when they first start to build their perception of women. How the women in their lives carry themselves and their attitudes toward dress and appearance have a profound impact on how boys formulate social norms about the opposite sex.
I am progressive when it comes to certain issues. But in regards to displaying skin, I am a traditionalist. My grandson turned one last month. When he becomes an adult, I want him to respect women. I would like him to grow up to be a good and honest man. I want to teach him about the ills of excess and the wisdom of moderation. However, when I look at the world today, women are being sexually objectified more than ever. I am concerned that raising him to fit my little vision will be nothing short of an uphill battle.
It is certain that societal perception of what is decent and what is lewd will change in the future. Perhaps one day, 20 years from now, my grandson will bring home a good girl who is dressed in a skimpy skirt and a barely-there shirt. Although the girl's clothing may be what is considered "nice" and "trendy" for that time, I would probably ask her to leave my house before she has even had a chance to say a single word. I hope that my grandson would understand that in my eyes, decency is timeless.
Prapai Kraisornkovit is the editor of the Life section of the Bangkok Post.