I never see the point of saying something obvious -- it's a waste of time, like saying today is Friday. What good does it do? Nada. But how can one not talk about this extreme heat we're living with?
Sure, saying it out loud doesn't make the temperature drop, but it starts an interesting conversation which can make you temporarily forget about the heat. There are many stories about what sort of effects this bout of summer heat has brought upon us. It's like a sauna out there.
I've lived in Bangkok all my life, so it's not like I'm new to this kind of weather. But this year's summer seems to be particularly merciless. Here are some examples.
1. I opened my Vaseline petroleum jelly jar only to find it had turned all runny.
2. I accidentally left my lipstick in my car overnight. The next morning, it had turned liquid.
3. I bought hot nam taohoo at 9am. By noon, it was still warm.
4. I ordered a bowl of ice-cream and went to the restroom. By the time I returned to my table, it had turned into a milkshake.
5. I walked from my office to the nearby market during my lunch hour, only to come back with no make-up on my face. It had all been washed off by the torrent of sweat cascading from head to toe. (Do toes sweat, now that we're on this subject?)
If you want to test the levels of this April heat, try taking a motorsai at midday. The moment your bum touches the sun-drenched seat, I swear you can hear it sizzle. You can also try to finish a Magnum in broad daylight without the vanilla ice-cream trickling down your hand.
I know how fortunate I am to work in an air-conditioned office and to have air-conditioning at home. I wince every time I see those who have to work in the sun in this kind of weather, be it security guards, those people who have to hold up a sign promoting some condo (which no one ever looks at), or traffic policemen in that uncomfortably tight uniform. And of course, those dudes in suits strutting their stuff on packed pavements during lunch hour, sweating profusely.
Whoever made suit and tie the official dress code for working men in Thailand was clearly a sadist. Bangkokians should go to work in a T-shirt and a pair of kankenglay. I mean, earlier this year we saw global luxury brands launching those rainbow-striped bags that look like they were straight out of Sampeng. Surely kankenglay could be a trend, too?
If that happens, dear readers, remember I thought of it first.