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#CelebrityAnswers

I have a confession to make. I read a lot of trashy, gossipy entertainment news. And you know what I realised? Those famous faces must have attended some kind of superstar etiquette course, because they always give the same strange answers during interviews. It goes like this.

Interview with actress A, as a single woman:

Q: Are you dating *insert name here*? A: Oh, we are just friends. We work together, that's all. Right now I just want to focus on my career. Meaning: Oh yeah, we're definitely doing it. There's no smoke without fire!

Q: Someone spotted you at a restaurant with him. Are you two in a relationship? A: No! We went with a group of friends. It's so weird why they only saw the two of us. Meaning: Well, duh. Do you go out to a fancy dinner with random people?

Interview with actress A, when in a relationship:

Q: Are you two getting married soon? A: Not yet. We are too busy. We just want to focus on our career. Meaning: The minute he proposes, I'm showing him the PowerPoint of our wedding plan. And the reservation receipts.

Q: Do his parents like you? A: They are very kind. I am very lucky. Meaning: Let me tell you this, but DO NOT tell anyone else, OK? Here's the story…

Q: Someone spotted him at a restaurant with another woman. Is something going on? A: They are just friends. I know her, too. She's a sweet girl. Nothing is going on. Meaning: That b***h again? Where did you see them together? Do you have a video clip!?

Interview with actress A, after a break-up:

Q: Have you two broken up? A: We are just too busy. We don't have time for each other. It's better to take a break. Meaning: He's a jerk. I'd be stupid to stay.

Q: Someone spotted him kissing another woman. Was that the reason? A: I can guarantee there's no third wheel. It is our mutual decision to just be friends. Meaning: That's definitely the reason. That cow.

Interview with actress A, after getting married:

Q: Are you pregnant yet? A: Not yet. We are too busy. We just want to focus on our career. Meaning: I can't just tell you he can't get it up, can I?

Q: Are you trying? A: Like I said, we just want to focus on our career. Meaning: If you know a good doctor, I'm all ears.

Interview with actress A, after getting divorced:

Q: Is there someone else? A: Definitely not. It's a mature, mutual decision to end our marriage. We will remain great friends forever. Meaning: Definitely, yes. I hope she gives him incurable STDs.

Q: Will you start a new relationship? A: Right now I just want to focus on my career. Meaning: Excuse me, my new boyfriend is FaceTiming me. See ya!

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