Short-tempered golfers remain a source of amusement

Short-tempered golfers remain a source of amusement

It's now 25 years since I battled through the traffic and submitted my first golf tip to the sports editor of the Bangkok Post, and on reflection, of all the tips I've submitted over the years, I've not touched on the profanity in golf!

Short-tempered golfers have always amused me, especially the variety of expletives used, which are more or less vigorously directed at themselves.

The most usual safety valve for fury of the disappointed golfer has many a time left me in stitches.

Unfortunately, bad language has virtually gone out of use for the TV tour player (especially if a microphone is close by) but I'm happy to say that profanity is alive and well everywhere else on the links.

I well remember that I couldn't play for a few holes because of incontrollable giggles due to witnessing an 'already' angry player trying to copy the tour player's action of hitting his shoes with his sand wedge after a bunker shot to remove any excess sand.

He missed his target and hit his ankle, even now the sound of metal hitting bone on that day brings me to laugh out loud.

The subsequent squeals of anguish and swear words made it virtually impossible to play the remaining holes seriously.

The sight of him hobbling up each subsequent fairway didn't help at all in regaining control of myself.

Deeds not words can also bring a smile when the resources of profanity run out and in extreme cases when justice, prudence and politeness have all conspired against any given poor golfer, actual physical violence may break out, with hilarious scenes of golfing breakdowns ensuing.

Out of Bounds: A golfer's thirst for revenge and vengeance cannot be satisfied and knows no bounds when it comes to shifting the blame of a bad shot to a particular club. Piecemeal destruction of equipment and profanity must be permitted to continue -- so as to smooth the discomfort and torment of succeeding generations of golfers.

Do you like the content of this article?
COMMENT