Patama Chantaruck has a "coffee story" to share with her colleagues at IBM Thailand and people in her circle. It dates back nearly two decades to when she was promoted for the first time to oversee a global business division at the American technology giant Microsoft Corp.
"I was asked to have a meeting with representatives of seven partner companies from the US and Europe. All of them were men and I was the only female and Asian to join the meeting at Microsoft," the 54-year-old managing director of IBM Thailand recalls.
"They knew each other. When my team and I walked into the room, they were chatting. Before we said anything, one of them turned around and said to me, 'Can we have coffee please?'
"They thought I was a marketer and one of my two male colleagues must be the boss. I was the boss but this is how I look," she says.
"I was 35 but an Asian 35 -- you look younger, like 30. People couldn't tell who I really was. I can't blame them for thinking I was just a marketer or a salesperson or a junior staffer because two of my team members were older than me and they were Americans."
When Ms Patama told her American friends, they said she should reply: "Go and get it yourself. It's outside."
"But because it's me being Thai, I smiled and said to them, 'What would you like?' I went around the room one by one for seven orders and they didn't spare me anything -- they wanted double shots, almond milk, non-fat with half foam, then very hot. I wanted to prove to them that I can remember things so I didn't take notes. When I turned around, my two colleagues went pale and I said, 'Don't worry, I have this under control, I'll be right back. Don't tell them.'"
She left the room to get the coffee down the hall. "When I brought back seven cups of coffee, I kept smiling and they didn't know what was happening. I said 'Please, help yourself.' I'm sure I got the orders all right as it was written on the cups."
Then she walked over to sit at the head of the table. "You could have heard a pin drop. None of them moved, looked at me, or grabbed their coffee either. Now they realised who the boss is. And I said, 'Now you know what we are dealing with every day', with a smile on my face. My team was smiling too."
It turned out that the meeting that was supposed to last an hour was finished after only 45 minutes. "I got everything I wanted from them because they had already made a mistake by thinking I was a coffee server. Before I left the room, I smiled at them. [I was thinking] 'Look, it will be the most expensive coffee you've ever had … but I didn't have to say it'," Ms Patama says.
"I use this story to mentor others. When this happens to them, it's a matter of pride in here and it hits you so hard. Of course, I'm human too but I calculated in my head, made a bold move and I got the lesson I wanted learned. With the approach I took at the time, I can't deny who I really am and I can't change it."
After gaining some early career experience in the technology field with Seagate and SingTel in Thailand, Ms Patama went back to school, obtaining an MBA from Washington State University. She then embarked on a 23-year career with Microsoft that included two spells in Thailand -- one of them as managing director from 2007-11 -- and a total of 15 years in various senior roles in America, rising to general manager for worldwide software asset management and compliance based in Seattle.
She joined IBM in October 2018 as vice-president for Indochina expansion and managing director of the company's Thai operation. The job has brought with it a new set of challenges but she has embraced them with her customary enthusiasm.
"I love the quote from the Thai comedian who passed away recently," she says, referring to the late Akom "Kom Chauncheun" Preedakul. "He said, 'If you're not tall enough, you have to really stand tall. If you're not good at something, you have to work harder' (mai soong tong kayeng. Mai keng tong kayan).
"It is so true for Asians who are looking to survive in the American professional environment. Not losing your own values but at the same time, you have to work harder to stand out or be differentiated among other professionals who may look alike to the big boss," she tells Asia Focus.
"You can only stand out by being proactive, working very hard and making sure that you stay positive. When my boss (in the US) told me it would be hard to make it to the top unless I really changed, I asked him, 'Why do I want to change? I'm not going to be an American who hits the table when they disagree, or argues or yells, because that's not who I am.' We may adapt to the culture, but without losing who we really are."
SHOW RESPECT BUT STAND UP
Given her experience with two multinationals at home and abroad, Ms Patama has learned to adapt to different cultures and appreciate what each contributes to the success of the organisation. Equally importantly, she recognises it is essential to show respect.
At 32, she was in charge of regional business at Microsoft, covering 14 countries in Asia from China and Japan, all the way to Australia and New Zealand, Southeast Asia and India. Japanese culture in particular provided some valuable lessons.
"Before you show up in Japan, you need to make sure that you don't end up showing disrespect to the businesspeople you work with," she says.
"For example, when you're given a business card, you have to grasp it with both hands … and you have to make sure you read what's on the card before you put it in your pocket.
"Or when you walk into an elevator, what do we normally do? We talk, like, what to have for lunch. But in Japan, you're not supposed to talk in the elevator because you have to show respect for others."
Most Japanese elevators have a sign advising people to be quiet, but you won't see Japanese people pointing to it or saying anything if a foreigner isn't observing the rule. "They don't confront people. I remember I did that because I'd lived in the US too long," Ms Patama says of a visit to Tokyo with a group of American and European colleagues.
"When they started talking in the elevator, I pointed to the sign and they said to me, 'You're not Thai. You're an American woman now because Thai people wouldn't do that because you are being kreng jai (considerate). You're not going to confront people by asking them to read the sign' -- but I did."
One thing that impresses Ms Patama about her current employer is its diversity. By recognising the strengths of different cultures and bringing them together, IBM creates world-class technology to support people, she says.
Still, she acknowledges that differences among cultures can sometimes lead to discrimination. "You have to learn to let it go. You cannot change how others feel but all you can do is to stand up," she advises.
"The easiest way to change things is to focus on how each of us individually can make the change, so I'd rather be the upstander not a bystander. If I see things that are not right, I voice my concerns."
Speaking out doesn't have to involve confronting a person that one believes to be in the wrong, she stresses. Instead, it can be better to just focus on making things right, she points out.
The Covid pandemic, meanwhile, has brought additional challenges, one of them being remote working. In 15 months of working from home, Ms Patama has observed that teams can still work well together -- even if they can only see each other on a screen -- and that the same basic rules of respect apply.
"In a workplace like this, if you start making a comment like, 'Oh, I don't like the colour of your wall' when somebody turns on a camera, that's not acceptable," she says.
"We pledge to treat others with respect to make sure we accept their situation. It should be okay for me not to put on makeup when working from home. It should be okay for my staff to be interrupted by their kids, dogs or other animals.
"Things like that are a good example of how can we show support to others in a situation like this."
For a leader, though, it's harder to check in with people to find out how they're really feeling.
"In the office, I can walk around and tap someone on the shoulder and say, 'How are you? You want to grab a cup of coffee?' You can add that personal touch, but not virtually," she says.
"However, you can still connect and check things with people. This is how we adjust as Thais working in American companies. Being a global company, we operate across 200 countries and I think the nice thing is that we learn to respect one another."
V-A-C-C-I-N-E LEADERS
Breaking the glass ceiling in the IT industry may seem tough, but nothing can stop women from bringing out our their full potential at work, says Ms Patama.
"I have never felt bothered by being the only woman in the room, or felt that I was discriminated against based on my gender. Yet, I know this is not the case for everyone," she acknowledges.
"I'm fortunate to have had an opportunity to work with top leaders, and one of the qualities they all possess, that I've learned from them, is the courage of their convictions. They all have the confidence to do what they believe is right, even though other people may not agree or approve."
"Being an authentic leader can be a challenge. Things might take effort and time but seeing obstacles as opportunities will build our personal leadership skill set, help us go beyond the gender bias and break the stereotypical men-vs-women barrier."
IBM is passionate about taking action and rejecting negative stereotypes about women's fitness for leadership. Four of the company's six country general managers in Asean are female, and so is the general manager for Asia Pacific.
In the Covid era, Ms Patama says the role of corporate leaders has become even more complex at the top and at every level on down. Financial acumen must be married to human connection, while the need for communication skills has been amplified.
"A VACCINE (value, agile, customer-centric, change, innovation, network, essential) leader will be key to business during and post-pandemic," she says.
In her view, it is agility and a passion for customer-centric design and product and service excellence that form the prime route to lasting success. "The much-needed leaders are the ones willing to embrace changes, drive excitement about changes and lean into emerging technologies as the next lever of differentiation."
Customers today can change products or service providers in an instant, so leaders must pay heightened attention to purposeful product and service innovation that will help solve customer problems and lead to essential next-level advantages, she says.
Building flexible partnership networks has also received intensified emphasis amid the pandemic. "Leaders must ask themselves how partnerships can help their company innovate and how they can expand the ecosystem to positively impact their products, workflows and experiences" says Ms Patama.
Looking forward, she believes that organisations will embrace a hybrid workforce and new ways of working as they pursue strategic priorities like driving flexibility, reducing costs and building resiliency.
"To thrive in the years ahead, CEOs should continually examine five questions that help them find their essentials," she says. "What is the essential strategy, essential technology and essential risks? At the same time, who is their essential workforce and who are the essential leaders?
"Finding our essential -- the sharp edge of the knife for our enterprise -- is a leader's priority," she stresses. "Transformation is never complete, especially for an ambitious company committed to avoiding complacency and any self-delusion that its market position is automatically secure."
REFRESH & RESTART
Balancing work and routine life, especially during the pandemic, can make many people feel overwhelmed, and women often feel the impact more than men.
"Getting caught up in things beyond our control often stresses us out, so for me, it's important to refresh and restart ourselves," says Ms Patama.
"My daily early-hour ritual at six o'clock every morning is to slowly sip my warm coffee, observe the birds, fish and greenery in my garden, reflect on what has happened, and prepare myself with a fresh mind to be ready to focus on and confront any challenges the new day has to offer.
"No matter how tough it was the previous day, we need to clear that away from our mind."
It's the leader who sets the tone for the entire team, she notes. "Leaders are held to higher standards. The higher we go, the more obligated we are to set an example. So it's important for me to stay positive to set an upbeat tone and energise my team too. The tone we set will clearly guide us in how we handle problems and support our clients throughout that day."
She has always been an avid reader, from biographies to books on self-development. One of her favourites is Grit by Angela Duckworth. The author interviewed many CEOs, reflecting their passion, perseverance and resilience. In the end, it's clear that leadership is not something innate or an inborn quality. It can be learned and improved over time.
Ms Patama's latest favourite activity is early morning badminton games with her 83-year-old dad and 76-year-old mum. "It's become our daily championship tournament, but the most important thing for me is to at least be able to spend time and seize the valuable moments with my parents," she says.
"Being able to enjoy great food and weekend day trips, observe their simple happiness and take care of them daily, are the main reasons why I moved back to Thailand."
And when time allows in the morning, evening or even at night, swimming is a great stress-reliever as well. "Spending time underwater allows me to clear my mind and get some good solutions for work," she says.
Her goal post-Covid is to embark on an epic road trip with her folks across Thailand. "There are many cities in Thailand that I personally have never visited. This country is known to attract travellers from around the world and there are a lot of unseen places my parents and I haven't been to.
"I can't wait to get a chance to get to know more about my motherland, to visit and spend some money in the incredibly vibrant and culturally rich Thailand. And I know our country needs that too," she concludes with a smile.
