'Dear Admin. I went out with friends to drink, but I do not remember what happened that night. The next day, my friends posted video clips in our group chat. The video features me kissing a friend. Due to that situation, other friends teased us to be a couple. I felt very awkward. What should I do?"
This is one of 30 situations in a card game called Heart Guru, created by Wipaphan Wongsawang, the founder of Thaiconsent -- a creative media agency which produces content related to .
Supported by Thai Media Fund, Heart Guru was developed in 2022 and was tried out in 10 schools in 2023. The schools were diverse, including international schools, all-boys schools, government schools in Bangkok and remote areas and schools for underprivileged students. The Heart Guru card game was created for use as an educational medium in schools to help students learn about consent, love and relationships.
"The objective of Heart Guru is to provide teachers with an educational tool. Although videos can reach wide audiences, videos as well as textbooks are a one-way communication media. When learning about consent and relationships, it is essential to engage in discussions and exchange viewpoints. Using a card game helps encourage young participants to engage in conversations and share their perspectives," Wipaphan explained.
Wipaphan Wongsawang, the founder of Thaiconsent.
"Heart Guru was designed for use with high school students because junior high school students may not encounter awkward relationships and sexual relationships. The card game is appropriate for university students, but unlike high school students, there is no instructor to lead their discussion."
Heart Guru is appropriate for playing with five to eight students as one group for a 40-minute session. In a group, players take turns assuming the role of the admin who reads a question aloud. Both the admin and other players have to search for answer cards which best match the situation of the question.
The answer card choices include topics of violence, alcohol and drugs, child grooming, consent, psychological manipulation and sexual prejudice. Importantly, answers do not provide solutions, but encourage players to understand the underlying concept presented in the question. For example, answers to the initial question above involve "alcohol and drugs" and "consent". Most questions have at least two possible answers.
"Students have to explain why they chose the answer. They can even team up with another friend who choose another answer that potentially relates to the question. An individual player can earn one point if they get the right answer. Students who team up with another student and get the right answer can each earn two points," explained Wipaphan.
Cards with questions.
Heart Guru was created by Wipaphan after she had been a guest speaker who addressed consent and sexual harassment in schools and universities for years.
"There were many sexual harassment cases in educational establishments and most of them did not have any measures to handle such cases. My talk did not prompt them to establish any measures, but it provided fundamental knowledge about consent and sexual relationships to students," said Wipaphan.
As a guest speaker who has worked with young people for several years, Wipaphan discovered that there are two misleading ideas regarding consent in educational establishments.
"First, students view going out for drinks as a path to intimacy. However, many students mistakenly believe that it is OK to sexually violate drunk individuals because it is their fault for letting themselves get drunk, especially women. However, nowadays, many people recognise that a decent person would never commit sexual misconduct, even if he/she is drunk," she said.
"Second, silence is considered consent. Many men learn from media that women normally do not enjoy having sex, so they assume that a frigid/immobility is normal. This is wrong. Experts explained that 'tonic immobility' is a natural response in humans, particularly in situations of extreme threat. When people experience tonic immobility, they may appear frozen or paralysed as a protective mechanism from a terrible experience. However, immobility or silence does not mean they gave consent."
Wipaphan started establishing a blog, Thaiconsent, in 2015 after she and her friends experienced sexual harassment in university while they were drunk. At that time, they also experienced victim blaming. As a result, Wipaphan wanted to provide knowledge about consent to Thais. In 2017, Thaiconsent was transformed into social media format -- facebook.com/thaiconsent, twitter.com/thaiconsent, instagram.com/thaiconsent -- and the website thaiconsent.in.th.
Some answer cards.
When asked about the main problems related to attitudes about consent among Thais, Wipaphan replied that many people in Thai culture tend to think for others.
"Parents think for their children, teachers think for their students and lovers think for their partners. While this can be harmless in some cases, in other cases, it can cause harm, especially regarding sexual issues. Thais also think from their own point of view. For example, victims are judged by people saying things like, if they were in that situation, they would never have behaved that way or they would never have gone to that place," she said.
"Additionally, some men learn from older peers or senior colleagues that sexual misconduct is something normal. Predators who commit crimes may even brag about the experiences because they have never faced negative consequences. This creates misleading attitudes about sexual misconduct and consent."
In the past, women had to find ways to protect themselves from sexual assault. Various products such as anti-rape underwear, chastity belts, pepper spray and nail polish to test rape drugs were produced to enhance women's safety.
"After 2019, people noticed that these products did not work and came up with other ideas to change society. In some universities, there is a database to collect reports regarding sexual predators. If someone is repeatedly reported, an investigation should be conducted. Complaint centres were designed to have friendly officers for consulting so victims feel safe when filing their complaints. The focus shifted to designing services which prioritise victims," she explained.
"Heart Guru was designed to educate students about their relationships. It is a great way to encourage students to express their attitudes towards relationships and sex without feeling awkward."
Heart Guru has received positive feedback from students who felt that the questions resonate with real-life scenarios. However, teachers commented that it was difficult to explain answers. To assist teachers, Wipaphan is looking to secure more funding, so she can add more detailed explanations for teachers.
"I hope the new version of Heart Guru can be distributed to 100 schools. It will be nice if the card game becomes one of the most popular educational tools. One deck of Heart Guru can be used for teaching in various classrooms and different academic levels. Thus, it will reach more students than when I lecture as a guest speaker," concluded Wipaphan.
Players have to search for answer cards which best match the situation of the question.
