So the latest unchangeable, confirmed, guaranteed date of the 2015 Thailand general election isn't "definitely in February" after all, but some time in the next 371 days. To put it another way, voting will be, in the words of the country's official political cartographer, "early in 2019", or by Sunday, June 30.
The general prime minister went to London to state this. Earlier, last Oct 2, 2017, to be exact, he went to Washington to promise in writing the 2015 election would be held no later than November 2018. Earlier, he had visited Japan to vow solemnly that the promised 2015 election would be early in 2016. Afterwards, he visited the United Nations and assured the world that the 2015 election would be held "in late 2017".
Last Oct 10 (2017), Gen (Ret) Prayut was actually in Thailand when he guaranteed he would announce the precise date of the 2015 election this month. That's right now and here is an astonishing shock. Are you sitting down? It seems we won't hear an election date this month, after all.
There's always a reason. And there's always a reason for a teenager to put off studying until the evening before the final exam and there are no more reasons that anyone believes.
When Ms May asked why in the heck he hasn't already returned civil rights to Thai people and held an election, Gen (Ret) Prayut answered, "because organic laws are being passed". That excuse left the building like Elvis. Organic laws are being discarded. The Watchman announced last week Section 44 will be used to kill the organic law that requires parties to hold pre-election elections (primaries).
Last year, there couldn't be elections until the organic law on primaries was published. Now, primary elections are such an impediment that general elections can't be held until the organic law is memory-holed.
Deputy Prime Minister Wissanu Krea-ngam proved he was one of the country's top contortionists, surely worthy of a Thailand's Got Talent audition. He said the country can't have an election for now because the military has to get things lined up like 20-year plans and new political parties favouring the selection of he who can't (yet) be named. This is necessary because (here comes the good part, and we quote) "because investors want long-term plans".
Of course they do. That's why no one has ever invested in Thailand, which could have been the No 2 regional economy. That's why no one invests in America or Britain or France, because dopey voters could bring in governments that change the old government's dependable long-term plans.
For goodness sake, as surveys of foreigners and Thai business groups both agree, as the prime minister of Great Britain told Gen (Ret) Prayut on Wednesday, investors want an elected government. That's because the only thing less stable than a democratically elected Thai government is a Thai military regime trying to control through intimidation and firepower instead of debate, checks and balances.
In London, it was as if Gen (Ret) Prayut had read or listened to audio recordings of the renowned poet Rashad, who states in one of his better-known works, "Gurl, you know you're lookin' good today [Tell 'em what they wanna hear]". So he told her, "I assure you the election will be held early next year."
Just like the poem predicts, Britain's leader, hearing the general prime minister's oft-repeated seduction line about elections next year (as in the old jokey bar sign, "Free beer tomorrow" that is still there the next day), Ms May smiled and praised "the progress that has been made towards holding elections in Thailand in early 2019". Hook. Line. Sinker.
This illustrates this week's slang phrase "a walk in the park". It means it's #easy, it's a #pieceofcake, it's "something that is very easy to do" (Urban Dictionary; Cambridge English Dictionary), something that's so easy everyone will fall for it.
After the meeting … and this is the good part. After the meeting the general prime minister threw on a padded gilet with a broken zipper, wrapped a scarf around his neck with the Louis Vuitton mark front and centre, and literally went for (wait for it; wait for it) a walk in the park.
It just seemed so completely right after his metaphorical walk in the park at Number 10 for Gen (Ret) Prayut to lead a couple of ministers plus aides and British minders on a literal walk in the park.
For the record, it was Hyde Park. In a huge surprise, he didn't get to Speakers' Corner, where there is free speech.