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Guru's ethics test

Last Thursday, Bangkok Post, our publication's daddy, reported that PM Prayut Chan-o-cha wanted a moral and ethical sense test for students of all levels and suggested that schools should get students to write one page of Thai history. He said it would make them aware of their social responsibilities and duties.

Our Dear Leader also gave examples of the kinds of questions that should be asked i.e. what should you do when you see someone drop a wallet or when you see them jaywalking? Too vanilla of examples, don't you think? Also, didn't we already work out the answers to them, like, by the age of six? Since a good chunk of our readers are bright-eyed students who may be subject to such tests in the near future, I would like to help prepare them with this Guru-style ethical test, inspired by real-life events.

Kids, let's see how good of a person you are.

1. Who's your idol?

a) Donald Trump.

b) Barack Obama.

2. Say you promise that something very very important will happen within a particular time frame that you set yourself. What do you do in order to keep your promise?

a) Why rush? It's OK for me to postpone it a couple of times. Better late than never.

b) Do whatever it takes to make it happen by the time you say it will happen. Your word is your bond.

3. Say you're a leader of a country and it's a legitimate part of your job to be grilled and asked tough questions by the press. How do you deal with this situation?

a) Threaten to throw a podium at those pesky press people. I'm only human, man!

b) Act courteous even when I'm frustrated AF. I know people will hold me up to a higher standard. I'm the freaking leader of the country, after all.

4. If you have to sit an entrance exam for a job, how will you prepare?

a) Prepare (or ask my parents for) a lot of cash to pay those who will be able to help me cheat. Also, I will stop by a shrine to pray and make offerings to sacred entities in the hopes of getting the best scores. Supernatural powers always trump the sheer power of study.

b) Study hard. Burn the 2am oil. Use those textbooks as pillows when I sleep so some info will seep into my brain during the night.

5. Let's say you're a police officer who's tasked with investigating a serious case. How do you proceed?

a) "Ask" for a big wad of cash from the accused first. Well, I'll probably have to work extra hard on the case so I might as well get paid extra too. It's guilty until proven innocent, baby.

b) Conduct the investigation fair and square because I can't bear the thought of sending someone innocent to jail. It's innocent until proven guilty.

6. If you came to power by seizing it, would you suggest there should be an ethical test for students?

a) Yep. I have no concept of what irony is.

b) No. It isn't really my place to speak on such things.

7. What should you do when you realise you have done something wrong?

a) Deflect the blame and try to come up with an explanation to make you appear guilt-free.

b) Owe up to your mistake and apologise.

8. Which is the best way in your opinion to inspire younger people to be aware of their social responsibilities and duties?

a) Come up with a test to judge their sense of morality. The higher the score they get, the more upstanding they will be in real life, right?

b) Well, I may make mistakes here and there but I think it's best to inspire them by example. My example.


The more you answer a) the less decent of a human being you are. Seriously.

The more you answer b) the more decent of a human being you are. You're the kind of kid we need for Thailand 4.0.

P.S. Kids, don't you think some adults already failed this test?


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