Chicks dig the long ball, they say. If that's so, in their attempt to win over the ladies, big league baseballers are ruining the grand old game.
In revamping their approach so they can hit more roundtrippers, MLBers are now obsessed with launch angle -- which is a polite way of saying they've changed their swings from a long-preferred level stroke to more of an uppercut swing.
The result: In June, MLB batting averages were at .237, their lowest since 1968 (which caused the pitcher's mound to be lowered the next season to give hitters more of a chance).
And strikeouts are up to almost nine per game for each ballclub, the highest ever. Strikeouts have increased for 13 straight seasons.
When a hitter comes to the plate nowadays, you can usually expect one of three things: a strikeout, a home run or a walk.
It seems only once in a while a ball will be put into play. Big, home run-seeking uppercut swings will do that.
Meanwhile, fan interest is waning.
The result: MLB is wringing its hands and racking its brains to figure out ways to prevent fans from completely turning off to America's traditional national pastime.
The current lack of action has made the games nowadays that boring.
Watching a Philadelphia Phillies v Washington Nationals game on the tube recently, the Phillies scored 12 runs in a 13-12 defeat. In the contest, the Phils struck out just one time.
They scored numerous times on ground balls through the infield, just out of the reach of Nats defenders.
Old school Phillies colour announcer John Kruk, a stone cold lifetime .300 plus hitter in his MLB days, said sarcastically of the scoring outburst: "Isn't it amazing how good things can happen when you just put the ball into play."
It was a not so subtle dig at today's hitter and their proclivity for big swings which lead much more often to strikeouts than homers.
In Kruk's era, hitters emphasised putting the ball into play, making the defence work hard for their outs.
If you put a ball in play, you never know what will happen. If you swing and miss, you've got no chance.
The situation for baseball has turned so grave that the league is now implementing steps to stop pitchers from using foreign substances (some form of grease, lotions, etc) they use to get a better grip and achieve more speed on their pitches.
When you watch a big league game these days, the majority of the pitchers throw in the high 90 miles per hour range.
It used to be where one or two guys in the whole league could top 100 miles per hour. Now, every team has at least one hurler who can hit the formerly revered century mark.
These days, a pitcher who throws in the low 90s is a veritable junkballer.
The hurlers hide these foreign substances somewhere on their person or uniform.
To put a halt to such shenanigans, MLB umpires have periodically begun checking pitchers for some sort of now illegal material when they leave the mound.
The penalty for using such substances is a 10-day suspension. Thus far only a single Chicago White Sox hurler has been nabbed.
St Louis Cardinals manager Mike Shildt welcomed the move by league honchos, relieved that "someone is finally doing something about our dirty little secret".
The desired result: A slower pitch which is easier to hit, resulting in fewer strikeouts and more action -- as in, balls put into play by batters.
The results of the pitcher checks are startling. In just the first few weeks of substance searches, the average pitch speed is already down and the contact rate of batters is up.
But even more must be done by the hitters themselves if the game is to save itself.
And some are trying to level the playing field by, well, leveling their swing. Several have lowered their launch angle (size of the uppercut).
Other hitters are choking up on the bat, especially with two strikes on them. And shortening their stroke, seeking contact -- instead of reaching back and swinging for the fences in a huge upward arc.
Offensive numbers are up recently, the game is more fun.
But MLB needs more converts to the level swing to be as enjoyable as it once was.
Miami Marlins manager Don Mattngly told Wiggins World: "Ballclubs need to incentivise the classic level swing by paying high average hitters more."
And home run hitters less. The chicks will just have to get their kicks elsewhere.
Contact Wiggins' World at davwigg@gmail.com