What school a person goes to seems to be somewhat of a trademark that is stamped on a person for life, especially in Thailand. People will always ask about it, and when you apply for a job, your school's name plays a role in depicting how qualified you are. To a certain extent, it also speaks of your financial status and how smart you are.
Not surprisingly, parents try their best to get their children into top schools, and the journey becomes more and more difficult with time. From tea money and connections, to ferrying the children to endless tutoring classes, today's parents must shoulder all of them just to ensure their children have a place in their school of choice.
Ning, whose son was recently accepted into one of the leading schools in Bangkok, said that she spent years preparing her son for the entrance test.
"Ever since he started kindergarten when he was two-and-a-half, he had been going to 'brain classes' twice a week, English conversation classes once a week, and maths classes twice a week. I also downloaded a lot of educational games on iPad for him to practise his maths and writing skills. One year before the exam, I enrolled him in a tutoring centre specialising in the primary school entrance exam. A few months leading up to the big day, I hired a private tutor to come to our house twice a week."
The effort did pay off _ in her opinion. While it meant her child did not have much time to do other things, she felt it was a crucial year, and it was worth the sacrifice.
"I have paid perhaps 50,000 baht a year for all the preparation, but come to think of it, that's a bargain, because otherwise I would have had to spend 200,000 baht on tea money at other schools anyway," she said.
A one-on-one tutoring class costs somewhere from 500 to 1,000 baht per hour, while a three-month course is about 6,000 baht for a group of five children, according to her. She also had to do a lot of research before picking the best teacher available.
That seems to be the trend today _ Ning said most of the parents at her son's kindergarten school also enrolled their children in tutoring courses a year before the exam.
"I don't think I was over the top, considering some of the kids had an even crazier schedule than my son. Money-wise, what I've spent is also pretty normal," she said.
Ning admitted that her son did protest from time to time, begging to stay home and play instead of going out nearly every afternoon to the classes. She had fought with her son, wrestled him out of his room and forced him into the car and bribed him along the way.
''How else would I get him to focus on what's important? It's for his own good,'' she insisted.
She is definitely not alone in this gruesome battle. Fa, a mother to a five-year-old boy, does the same thing.
''Apart from the usual academic tutoring classes, I also have to enrol him in piano classes as I heard extra skills also count when the school considers the kids. He doesn't really like it, but I tell him that it's only temporary _ he can give it up once he's in the school,'' she said. Fa spends about 10,000 baht a month on her son's classes and learning materials because she prefers private classes rather than group ones.
''I want my son to have undivided attention from the tutor. If he's with other kids, he's likely to play with them,'' he said. Fa said her son does not look stressed, but sometimes he is a little reluctant to go to the classes. When he doesn't feel like going, sometimes the teacher says he is easily distracted.
''But I think it's better than not going at all. It's OK if he loses track momentarily,'' said Fa. While Thai society is becoming highly competitive, parents go out of their way to make sure their children can keep up with their peers. This is why special classes have emerged, targeting pre-schoolers.
Dr Amporn Benchapolpitak, director of the Rajanukul Institute, Department of Mental Health, Ministry of Public Health, said: ''Pre-schoolers and primary school children today receive too much pressure from learning. This makes them more stressed, and some even become so aggressive that the parents have to seek psychiatric advice.''
She explained that when children do not have enough time to do activities with their parents, they feel they don't get enough love. Consequently, the love-starved children might grow up selfish and lack social skills.
''These problems would grow with them in the future,'' Dr Amporn added.
Children aged three years and up naturally learn by imitating others, so being close to their parents is the most important thing. Parents can teach the children general knowledge through playing simple games, reading books, or doing fun experiments together.
''Allowing them to try many things, make decisions, and learn about success and failure will give them good immunity. They will learn to accept failure and get up again,'' said Dr Amporn.
Dr Saovanee Pichairakporn, developmental and behavioural paediatrician at Samitivej Srinakarin Hospital, said that while it is not common for children to suffer from an overly packed schedule to the point they need to see a psychiatrist, the level of stress they receive can result in behavioural problems.
''If you notice that your child is easily irritated, becomes unusually aggressive, loses concentration easily or starts lying, the cause might be stress. Speak to your child to find out the cause, and if he doesn't like some activities, he should not be pushed to do them,'' Dr Saovanee said. She also pointed out that some parents send their children to ''fun'' classes such as art and music classes or playgroups. While labelled as fun and relaxing, it's still a forced environment.
''Instead of sending your child to a painting class, paint with him at home. Through shared moments, you can learn more about your child's likes and dislikes. It is better than pushing the responsibility on to someone else,'' she said. Dr Saovanee said that while parents understandably feel that their children need to work on their academic skills in order to get accepted at renowned schools, they should never forget that children need time to act their age.
''Pre-schoolers want to play and explore the world. Sure, they might benefit from solving maths problems and writing, but other skills are important. Some kids can write well but can't dress themselves. To raise a well-rounded child, there needs to be a balance, and your child is the best indicator of that. If he's not happy with the schedule, listen to him and respect his opinion. Children might be young, but they know their feelings.''
