The daily news is so depressing it is time for a bit of unabashed escapism. Last weekend marked the 75th anniversary of Desert Island Discs, one of BBC Radio's most iconic programmes. The format involves celebrities being interviewed about their life and selecting eight records if castaway on a desert island. Each guest is allowed a book of their choice and an inanimate luxury.
Despite its longevity -- it's even older than me -- it has had only four presenters: Roy Plomley (for 43 years), Michael Parkinson (two), Sue Lawley (18) and current host Kirsty Young (nine).
I've listened sporadically and although the music was not always to my taste, the interviews were usually interesting. Incidentally the most requested song has been Beethoven's Ode to Joy.
There have been a few quirky moments. In 1988, Ms Lawley introduced the controversial union leader Arthur Scargill as "someone many people would like to see on a desert island". More recently, Ms Young got bit of a shock when she asked veteran television journalist David Dimbleby what luxury he would like to take to the island. He replied: "I'll take you." A startled Ms Young said afterwards: "I nearly fell off my bloody chair."
Unashamed luxury
There have been quite a few unorthodox choices of luxuries on Desert Island Discs.
In 1971, actor John Cleese mischievously wanted a "life-sized model of Margaret Thatcher and a baseball bat". As a guest again in 1997, Cleese opted for fellow actor Michael Pailin "stuffed". Actor Oliver Reed in 1978 shocked the rather staid Mr Plomley when he requested "a blow-up doll". In 1979 author Norman Mailer caused a stir when he chose "a stick of the best marijuana." He was duly admonished by Mr Plomley with "this is illegal talk, Mr Mailer!"
Some castaways liked to be a bit naughty, with Bob Geldof's luxury being a packet of condoms which he explained would "represent some hope", while artist Cornelia Parker asked for "a solar-powered vibrator". TV talent show judge Simon Cowell chose a mirror. Hmmm.
Actor George Clooney impressed with his choice of Leo Tolstoy's mammoth novel War and Peace, but then explained "its large number of pages would make useful toilet paper".
Battle of the birds
In 1964 it was pointed out that the distinctive cries of the herring gulls which accompanied Desert Island Discs's opening theme music, By The Sleepy Lagoon, would not be heard on a desert island as those gulls only live in the northern hemisphere.
So the gulls were culled and replaced by exotic tropical bird noises more in keeping with a desert island. However it prompted such an outcry among listeners, after a couple of months the gulls triumphantly returned.
The BBC has introduced a special Desert Island Discs website which is real treasure trove of nostalgia. I recently enjoyed listening to Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones, in which he talks about his early days as a soprano in the school choir -- imagine that.
Fans of the unique Carry On character Kenneth Williams can enjoy a host of entertaining anecdotes including a hilarious impersonation of actress Maggie Smith.
The wrong Alistair
Things did not always go according to plan. In the early 1970s there was an interview arranged with popular author Alistair MacLean. While the interview was being taped, the producer became increasingly irritated that presenter Mr Plomley was not asking probing questions about MacLean's books, like Guns of Navarone or anything remotely connected with literature.
Instead, they were talking about holiday resorts. It was only at the end of the show the producer learned that the Alistair MacLean the presenter had been saddled with was not the famous author but a gentleman from a Canadian tourist organisation. It was never aired.
Dame Judi's nightmare
One of the more quirky Desert Island Discs requests came from actress Dame Judi Dench, who asked for an excerpt from BBC radio's daily Shipping Forecast. She explained she liked the "romantic names", especially Finisterre (now Fitzroy).
Towards the end of the interview Dame Judi became increasingly unhappy with her selection of mostly melancholy discs. She eventually confessed "I don't want any of those records with me" and admitted the prospect of being alone on a desert island was a "total nightmare".
Spoilt for choice
After hearing Desert Island Discs, you inevitably find yourself making your own selections.
It's near impossible. I finally narrowed it down to about 80. My preference would be jazz, but for simplicity's sake, we'll stick to pop, and yes, the following discs are all ancient: What's Going On (Marvin Gaye), Do It Again (Steely Dan), Father and Son (Cat Stevens), Dear Prudence (Beatles), I Put A Spell On You (Nina Simone), Light My Fire (Doors), River Deep Mountain High (Ike & Tina Turner), Pearls (Sade).
I'm going to cheat and make it 10, sneaking in Like a Rolling Stone (Bob Dylan), Walking the Dog (Rolling Stones) … and hundreds more.
After only a week, the songs would probably drive me insane and I would be seeking to escape my island aboard the first passing porpoise.
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