A front-runner for this year's Unfortunate Timing Award has to be the Tourism Association of Thailand (TAT) proudly announcing a special Bangkok Street Food festival for June, apparently blissfully unaware of the ongoing campaign by city authorities to clear those pesky vendors from most of the Big Mango's streets.
While the Bangkok Metropolitan Administration has a point in saying the vendors block pedestrians' right of way and are a health hazard, one wonders why they have to respond in such a knee-jerk fashion. The expression "throwing the baby out with the bathwater" springs to mind. The vendors just need to be better controlled. There are certainly places where vendors should not be allowed and are, to use the correct technical term, "a bloody nuisance".
However, vendors are an essential and colourful part of city life and culture. They are also a huge attraction for tourists, many of whom come from Europe where for most of the year eating outside at night would be an instant invitation for frostbite. More importantly, the thousands of vendors are hard workers striving to make ends meet. You don't have to be a Mother Teresa to point out that depriving them of their source of income in such difficult times is not a great idea.
There is a downside to eating in the streets, of course. Although the food is generally reliable, those Isan sausages can be a bit lively for sensitive Western stomachs. The fried grasshoppers are also something of an acquired taste. And if you get an exhaust blast in your face from an ancient BMTA bus just as you are about to tuck into your green curry, it will definitely not look quite so delicious.
Fashion plate
The TAT statement is not the first case of the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing. In the 1990s the government launched a major "Buy Thai" campaign to boost the economy. It might have stood a better chance had its most vocal cabinet member not been such a narcissus. In the middle of the campaign he proudly boasted on television about his clothes coming from the best fashion houses in Europe. No "Jimmy Tailor" from Pratunam for him -- it was Italian suits, Versace shirts, Lanvin, Louis Vuitton and so on. Rumours his socks came from Klong Toey market could not be verified.
Then there was the anti-smoking campaign some years ago when the public health minister was known as a heavy smoker. Two weeks after declaring he would never give up smoking, he found himself in the uncomfortable position at the head of the annual Anti-Smoking Day street parade. Observers noted that during the parade the minister was involved in an extraordinary number of "toilet breaks", and it had nothing to do with a weak bladder.
The same ministry also made news in 2008 when it announced a major anti-rodent campaign, which seemed a little perverse since it was the Year of the Rat.
Spare the rod
Perhaps the most embarrassing case of bad timing was back in 2002 when the education minister's contribution to Children's Day was the curious decision to announce plans for reintroducing caning in schools. If there is anything less appropriate to come out with on a day dedicated to the welfare of kids, it doesn't immediately spring to mind. Not surprisingly, the proposal was quickly shelved along with the minister in question.
Honourable flop
Someone who deserved a bit of sympathy was the transport minister who four years ago launched a campaign urging people travelling to Don Mueang airport to take public transport. He bravely put it to the test when booked on an afternoon flight from the airport. Instead of going by limousine, he took the bus. His venture did not get off to the best of starts when he had to wait 40 minutes for the airport bus. Things did not improve once he got on board as the bus nudged its way through clogged midday traffic.
By the time he reached the Victory Monument, 80 minutes had gone by and he realised that if he stayed on the bus he would miss his flight. In the end he had to call his chauffeur to come and rescue him. He eventually made it just before the flight took off.
To his credit, the minister admitted his efforts were "a flop". But at least he had tried. Let's call it an "honourable flop".
Periscopes down
News of the submarine purchase being given the go-ahead has not exactly been greeted by the tax-paying public dancing the hornpipe in the streets, but one place will be happy. Three years ago a state-of-the art submarine base in Sattahip opened and it has been waiting expectantly for the one thing such a splendid base really ought to have … a submarine.
Now it looks as if they might just get one, although they shouldn't get too excited. It will take up to six years before the Chinese sub is delivered, which means it could be 2023 before they actually sight anything resembling a submersible.
So it's not quite action stations yet and they will have to continue celebrating National Submarine Day by simply using their imagination.
In the meantime, it looks like those stationed at the base will have to concentrate on fighting off the real threat to Thailand's shores … invading jellyfish.
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