The gentleman in the White House has run into self-inflicted flak over his indelicate use of the word "horseface" in describing the adult film actress he may or may not have dangled with. However, she came storming back with a tweet of her own, referring to him as "Tiny", which one suspects was not a compliment. These exchanges could become quite entertaining.
Mr Trump is not the first politician to take the heat for the use of that specific word, although the case that springs to mind was in quite different circumstances.
It involved the late British MP Geoffrey Dickens. He was attending a summer fete and was pursued by a rather ugly woman who wouldn't leave him alone. Eventually he told her that if she sent him a letter he would reply with a signed photograph. A few weeks later a letter arrived on his desk written by the woman requesting an autograph. Below her signature in brackets was the word "Horseface".
The MP was amused that the lady recognised she was not the prettiest woman in the world and was impressed by her self-mockery. So he put the photograph in a frame and signed it "To Horseface, with best wishes, Geoffrey Dickens."
The following day his secretary asked him if he had seen the letter. She told him ''I wrote 'Horseface' at the bottom so you would remember which woman it was."
That was probably one vote he didn't get at the next election.
Buffaloes and lizards
I don't recall any "horseface" insults in Thailand, although horses did get dragged into the conversation during an entertaining spat between two lady MPs in the Thai parliament back in 2009. The squabbling ladies nearly came to blows after one called the other "brainless". The argument deteriorated with the other lady firing back that her opponent was a "low-class horse", which prompted some mirth amongst the gathered assembly. There was some speculation she meant another word rather similar to horse.
Thai parliamentary sessions tend to be rather tame, but have occasionally livened up with a few colourful insults. In one debate, there was quite a fuss when an opposition MP called a leading politician a "toad". Now that hurt, and the Bangkok Post reported that he was "hopping mad". Most insults in the Thai parliament tended to be of a traditional nature with MPs calling one another names like "lizard", "buffalo", "crocodile" and assorted reptiles.
One wonders what would be the response if someone called Donald Trump a "toad"?
New Year, old profession
The "low-class horse" tale brings to mind an embarrassing moment experienced by the BBC during live coverage of the Chinese New Year in February 2014, celebrating the Year of the Horse. As the countdown ended, the caption on the TV screen came up with "Welcome to the Year of the Whores. People around the globe celebrate."
The error was hastily corrected, but not quickly enough to prevent a lot of ribald comments on Twitter. According to British newspapers, the mistake was caused by a system using voice-recognition software , in which a computer transfers what it hears phonetically into subtitles.
It was apparently not the first time this method had caused a problem. Earlier there had been an unholy row when the leader of the Church of England was captioned as the "arch bitch of Canterbury". Even more entertaining, in a televised House of Commons debate a few years ago the caption at the foot of the screen repeatedly identified Labour Party leader Ed Miliband as the "Ed Miller Band". Fortunately he didn't burst forth into song.
Flogging a dead horse
Getting back to an equine theme, the last time horses made the front page was in 2013 when it was discovered horsemeat was turning up on dinner plates in Britain. It wasn't in the form of steaks, but disguised in assorted creations of minced meat and pasta, including bolognese, or as the tabloids gleefully termed it "bologneighs". The expression "I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse'' took on a whole new meaning.
Cynics may argue that if you are prepared to eat meat, it shouldn't make any difference whether it's a horse, cow, elephant, kangaroo, giraffe or three-toed sloth. But in Britain people are uncomfortable at the thought of eating anything remotely resembling a pony, filly or stallion. The animal holds a noble status in British culture. The horse is considered fondly, like a pet. Not that you would want one in your living room.
During World War II however, the British had to drop their sensibilities and ate large volumes of horse, for the simple reason they were hungry. For several years they were tucking into steaks, soups and sausages all of an equine persuasion. But it came to a halt with the "Great Horsemeat Scandal" of 1948 when it was discovered that millions of Brits were still eating horsemeat but totally unaware of it.
Knacker news
During the 2013 scandal, the newspapers were naturally chomping at the bit. Under the headline "Have You Eaten A Winner?" the Daily Mail claimed to have uncovered links of horsemeat trading with a well-known racecourse, featuring a gentleman splendidly known as "the knacker man".
Graffiti near one butchers read: "Our products are unavailable today as they are running in the 1.20 at Newmarket and the 2.30 at Aintree."
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