In recent street confrontations in Bangkok the police have regularly used buses as barricades against the protesters, hopefully letting any dozing passengers off first. People tend to fall asleep on buses and might get a bit of a fright waking up in the midst of a street showdown.
It is not only buses that make useful barricades. Back in 2009 when protesters threatened Government House, police commandeered several steamrollers that were being used for nearby roadworks. The steamrollers proved quite effective at keeping the demonstrators at bay, although admittedly they didn't have any rubber ducks to deal with.
Later when things calmed down, the protesters took over the steamrollers, which they used to help prop up a stage for their speeches and singers. So both sides were able to make creative use of these largely unheralded machines. That was real democracy in action.
The doll crushers
It also served as a reminder of how versatile steamrollers can be. Apart from their regular unenviable task of flattening road surfaces in Thailand, they are often called upon to squash fake watches and other counterfeit luxury goods. Many years ago they were even used to crush fake Disney Winnie the Pooh dolls, although one would have thought giving the dolls to slum kids might have been a better option.
Other counterfeit toys that have succumbed to the Thai steamroller in recent years include Iron Man, Captain America and Hulk. Earlier this year, a steamroller in Pattaya did everyone a favour by crushing more than 700 illegal motorbike exhausts, you know, the ones that make that horrible racket.
Scene stealers
Steamrollers, including the ancient ones with smoking chimneys, have made appearances in a number of films. As a kid I recall seeing the British comedy, The Titfield Thunderbolt, starring Stanley Holloway, featuring a railway branch line which was under threat. A steamroller is used by the bad guys in an attempt to derail the tank engine pulling the express. The tank engine triumphed.
In the 1971 film adaptation of Dad's Army, Capt Mainwaring commandeers a steamroller with predictably disastrous results as he discovers he doesn't know how to stop it as it runs out of control, demolishing everything in sight.
You wouldn't think steamrollers would inspire musicians but they have played their part. Neil Young's old group Buffalo Springfield was named after a company logo spotted on a steamroller. One of James Taylor's biggest hits was a song with the unlikely title, Steamroller Blues, which includes the lyrics "I'm a steamroller baby, I'm bound to roll all over you."
Perhaps they should play that song next time the Thai steamrollers get together for a counterfeit crushing session.
History lesson
Last week's column included some American students who were a bit vague about US history. To balance things out, I should point out that Americans seem to know more about British history than the Brits, especially when it comes to royalty.
Back in the 1980s, I was with a coachload of American tourists visiting William Shakespeare's birthplace at Stratford-upon-Avon and Warwick Castle. They were a friendly bunch and far more clued-in than me about the monarchs and castles, which admittedly was not very difficult.
When the Texan I was sitting next to asked what I thought about the Plantagenets and the House of Lancaster, it seemed prudent to change the subject to Shakespeare, not that I knew much about him either. When asked what was my favourite work by the Bard, I mentioned Julius Caesar, praying that there weren't any follow-up questions which I most certainly couldn't answer.
When conversation turned to Shakespeare's sonnets I hastily changed the discussion to the much safer ground of English football. That's when the American informed me he was a huge fan of Manchester United and proceeded to name the entire team.
Stonehenge and chips
Some time later I was also with American tourists on a trip to Stonehenge. Once again they knew a lot more than me about the origin of the old rocks so I kept quiet. Weather-wise it was a really miserable day, with a chilly wind whipping across Salisbury Plain amidst threatening clouds.
The Americans appeared to be just a trifle underwhelmed by Stonehenge. If you are looking for a visual treat it is not the place, especially during windy Wiltshire weather. You definitely need the sun out to appreciate Stonehenge. After briefly walking around the historic stones, much to my delight the Americans suggested we get back on the coach and find the nearest pub.
Twenty minutes later we were all sat in a lovely country inn with a pint and tucking into fish and chips. Poor old Stonehenge was all but forgotten.
Rock of ages
You don't have to go all the way to England for the Stonehenge experience. Just north of Chaiyaphum provincial town there's "Moh Hin Kao" (The Hill of White Rocks) which has been rather fancifully dubbed the "Stonehenge of Thailand".
Of course it is nothing like the real Stonehenge, but there are some impressive rocks lying around. The wife dragged me there a few years ago, believing that, as a certified old fossil, I would feel at home among ancient rocks. Instead, I was a perspiring wreck after 15 minutes, primarily because we were there in the midday sun -- Mad Dogs and Englishmen and all that. Noel Coward would have been proud.
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